Title: Art = Not Much
Author: Michelle K. (dalurve@gmail.com)
Site: http://glimmershine.tripod.com
Category: Amy/Donna, PG-13
Challenge: amydonna number 14: art.
Summary: Amy tries to give Donna some culture.
Disclaimer: Characters created by Aaron Sorkin. Art exhibit swiped from 'The L Word.'


Art = Not Much by Michelle K.

Outside the gallery, there were protesters with signs like, "God will strike the sinners," "Sacrilege is not art," and, the one Donna liked most, "Art = filth."

"What about those velvet Elvis paintings?" Donna pondered. "I like those. And Elvis is *not* filth."

Amy sighed. "I think it's really good that I'm exposing you to some culture."

"Oh. Now *you're* badmouthing velvet Elvis?"

Donna was so wrapped up in watching Amy's headshake of false exasperation that she didn't even notice one of the sign holders jump in front of her.

"Do you know what this place is, ma'm?" she demanded.

"I think so," Donna mumbled, flustered. "But--"

"This is a house of sin. And if you want to enter a house of sin--"

"I should get going?"

The woman looked offended by her flip mockery. "Are you a homosexual pornographer?"

Later, Donna would come up with many answers from the technical ("Well, I'm bisexual, and I've never made porn for *sale*"), to the confrontational ("Does making a tape of me having sex with my girlfriend count? Because Amy's the one who set up the camera...") to the simple ("Yes"). But, at the time, all she could do was stare at her with an open mouth.

Amy took Donna by the hand and led her away. "Don't pay attention to them," she whispered in Donna's ear.

"I wasn't. Just...surprised." Donna paused. "Wait. Did she just call me ma'am back there?"

"Yes. But all the homosexuality and porn production can make a person look older than their years. Not to mention the velvet Elvis."

Donna pouted. "If you keep making fun of me, I'm not going in with you."

Amy quirked an eyebrow. "And stay with the people who want you to burn in hell?"

"Lead on, woman."


The piece 'Jesus is in me' was quite...literal. In a sexual way.

"I'm not shocked," Donna said, staring at the image of the woman on all fours, a Christ-doppelganger standing stone-faced behind her. "Am I that lapsed in my religion?"

Amy shrugged. "Maybe Protestants don't have the correct level of guilt for this sort of thing to hurt." She sighed and tilted her head. "And maybe Catholicism doesn't, either."

"You lie." Donna frowned. "We're both soulless monsters."

"But we have free champagne."

Donna kept staring at the painting. Trying to decide if it really was art. Why she wasn't more affected by the sacrilege in front of her.

"Soulless monsters," Donna reiterated.

Amy put her arm around Donna's waist. "I really don't think so."


They left many glasses of champagne later. The protestors were still out, but didn't pay that much attention to those who were exiting.

"Too late to save us, I suppose," Donna muttered. "Us, the soulless monsters."

"Honey? Stop saying that."

"This is what you get for exposing me to culture."

"You want to go home and make some homosexual porn?"

"That's not the answer to everything! But yes." Donna paused. "Also, you have to stop badmouthing velvet Elvis."

"But I wanted to make a sign saying that velvet Elvis equals filth."

"You wound me and have proven you're a soulless monster."

"And yet you're going to make porn with me."

"Well. I said 'we' were soulless monsters. And porn--" She glanced around at the angry Christians who, while not obviously listening, could hypothetically hear her and be driven to anger and madness. "Let's finish this conversation in private, okay?"

"Sure. But I'd like to point out that you're too much of a wuss to be a soulless monster."

Donna smiled. "Thanks."


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