Title: Relax Sequel B - The Bad
Notes: Josh's horoscope (yes, I'm still obsessed with them!) was the predicion for Gemini on the horoscopes section of yahoo.com on 25/08/04. All other notes as for Relax Sequel A.
he Bad by Hannah
I was shouting. This, I felt, had come as no surprise to anyone in the meeting, since it had been clear for some while that I was working up to it. Admittedly, a more astute person would have realized their audience was unimpressed, but I was carrying on regardless. Fortunately for me, my boyfriend is a little more on the ball than I am when it comes to people skills.
"Would you excuse us a moment?" Sam asked the congressmen and their aides with a nervous smile, as he took a firm grip on my shoulder and propelled me out of the room.
"Ow!" I turned to him with a wounded look, rubbing at my shoulder where I was pretty sure I could feel some finger-sized bruises forming.
"Want to explain what that was all about?" Sam asked.
"Not really," I shrugged. "They're wrong. I'm right. That's pretty much the only point we need to get across."
Sam stared at me in disbelief. "Josh, if that was the only point we needed to get across, do you honestly think I'd have spent the last three days - and nights - working on prep for this meeting?"
Okay, the man had a point there but, "I'm bored," I whined. "I don't want to talk to them. I want to talk to *you*."
Wrinkling his forehead nervously, Sam ushered me along the corridor and into my office. "You really think the hallway is the best place to say something like that?"
I thought for a second. "Maybe not. But I do want to talk to you. We haven't had a moment alone together since last weekend."
"I know." He reached out and took my hand between his. "But I've been busy with work. You know that happens sometimes."
"Yeah, I know. It's just this time I had something more specific to talk to you about. And then today I knew I had to tell you today because I read my horoscope and it said so and I know they're just bullshit really but it fit so well with what I wanted to tell you..." I ran out of breath and had to stop, which was a shame because I could have done with a little more time to defend my reading habits.
To my delight and amazement, Sam wasn't laughing at me. He looked confused, and maybe a little scared that I was losing my mind, but I figured I could handle that.
"What did you want to tell me?" he asked.
Before I had a chance to answer, Donna came into the room and pointed out that if we weren't back at our meeting within thirty seconds, the wrath of Toby would descend upon us. Wanting to avoid that, we headed back and on entering the room, I slipped a piece of paper into Sam's jacket pocket.
"What's that?" he whispered.
I didn't answer, in an attempt to not draw people's attention to our interaction. So far Sam and I had kept our relationship under the radar, and we were really hoping to keep it that way, at least for the time being.
Once the discussions were underway again, I noticed Sam slide the newspaper cutting out and read it. A tiny smile crept onto his face - so tiny that if I hadn't been looking for it, I'd never have seen it - and his eyes flickered over in my direction. He nodded briefly and I felt my heart about to burst with happiness.
I had, of course, given him the copy of my horoscope I'd read that morning. Reading it, he had just learned that, for me, "This is the perfect day to take that one giant step toward intimacy. Whether it's of the physical or emotional variety doesn't matter. It's time to bond -- and you can rest assured that the feelings are mutual."
I'd been doing a lot of thinking since my previous abortive attempt to move our relationship to the next level, and at some point since the weekend I'd realized I wanted to try again. Sadly, due to the excessive workload our jobs put on us, it had taken me until Friday to find a moment to tell Sam I wanted us to make love.
I'll be the first to admit that letting him know that in the middle of the day - during a meeting crucial to the governing of the most powerful nation on earth - was probably not the smartest thing I've ever done, since it led to an excruciatingly frustrating few hours for us, until we were able to head back to Sam's that evening.
We headed straight for the bedroom and fell onto the mattress, tearing at each other's suits and ties. This moment had been a long time coming and neither of us wanted to prolong it a second more than absolutely necessary.
At the first moment of pure skin-on-skin contact I let out a growl and rolled Sam onto his back and used my hands to pin his wrists to the pillow under his head as I pressed open-mouthed kisses to his face and neck and shoulders.
Sam wrapped a leg around mine as he thrust up against me. Panting heavily, he bucked his hips against mine and he rocked his body from side to side, as though trying to dislodge me. I let go of his wrists and he pushed himself on top of me.
For a few minutes we just rolled around on the bed, delighting in the feel of each other's warm, muscular bodies. Apparently, three nights apart had been enough time to build up a huge amount of frustration, which was finding its release now.
Sam licked his finger seductively, then the next thing I knew, his hand was on my butt and something wet was pushing its way up my ass.
"What the hell?" I cried, jumping off Sam and away from the bed.
"I thought... Didn't you want us to...?" Sam was flustered and at a loss for words; something I felt a little guilty about.
I crept back over to the bed, sat down next to him and placed a hand on his thigh, gently rubbing it. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that. But give a guy some warning, Sam." I was trying to sound light- hearted about the whole thing but in truth I was a little scared. "This is a really big thing for me, okay?" I continued. "I never even thought about doing this kind of stuff till we got together, so I need a bit of... I don't know. Adjustment time?"
"You want us to slow down?" Sam asked kindly as he linked his fingers with mine.
I nodded. "And just tell me if you're going to do that again, right?"
"Right." With a smile, he leaned forward and kissed me. As our lips parted and his tongue found its way into my mouth, he wrapped an arm around my back and slowly lowered me until I was lying beneath him with my fingers threaded through his silky hair.
"Spread your legs for me," Sam whispered, trailing a hand down my chest and across my stomach before wrapping it briefly around my cock.
"What are you, my gynecologist?" I muttered. So, I would appear to be capable of using humor as a defense mechanism in *all* situations. Well, I guess that's always good to know.
"Josh...?" Sam sounded worried and he hadn't cracked a smile.
"It's fine," I hastened to reassure him.
"Okay, I'm going to try again now. But I'll use some lube this time." He grabbed a white tube from his bedside table and squeezed out some gooey, clear stuff onto his index finger, which he then moved towards me.
I lay back and tried to relax, but the second I felt his finger brush against my ass hole I clenched my muscles, refusing to let him in.
Sam rubbed my arm soothingly and bent forward to kiss me. As I relaxed, he slowly began to slide his finger in again. This time, I felt it enter about an inch before my panic came flooding back.
"Don't! Please, don't!" I cried and pushed him off me.
For a second we sat there staring at each other then, overwhelmed by embarrassment at my cowardice, I jumped up and ran into the bathroom.
"Josh?" Sam tapped nervously at the door. "Josh let me in." He sounded so worried, but I couldn't find my voice to reply. He rattled the handle but I had locked the door behind me.
Minutes ticked slowly by and my embarrassment grew. Now, not only was I a coward, but I was cold and naked and the only way to change that was to go and face my boyfriend - the man I'd just pretty much run screaming from.
I unlocked the door and slowly opened it. Peering into the bedroom I could see it was empty, so I crept over to the haphazard pile of clothing and began to sort through it for my stuff. Perhaps I would be able to get dressed and sneak out before Sam found me.
Nope. I was just zipping up my fly when he came back into the bedroom, dressed in tatty old jeans and a white t-shirt that had seen better days. God, he looked good. At least, that's what I thought until I dared to shoot a glance at his face and saw that his eyes were all red and puffy.
"You've been crying?" I asked, walking over to him.
Sam nodded and sniffed.
"Do you hate me?" he asked quietly.
"What? Of course not. You shouldn't need to ask that - why did you?"
"Because... because the way you reacted there, I kind of felt like I was raping you." He started to cry again, and I wrapped my arms tightly around him, pulling us together until there was no space between us.
"No. No no no no no no no. Oh shit, Sam, I'm so sorry. No. You didn't do anything wrong. It's just me - screwed up as ever." He really thought...? Oh, man, how crappy was it possible for me to feel?
He buried his face in my neck as his crying slowed then stopped. I pulled back slightly and brushed my thumb carefully across his cheeks to wipe away the tears glistening there.
"Okay?" I shook his hips gently.
"Come sit with me?" Sam nodded, so I took his hand in mine and led him over to the bed, where I sat down, leaning against the headboard with Sam settled between my legs, his back to my chest.
I wrapped my arms around his waist, hugging him to me. When his arms rested across mine, and he interlaced our fingers, I exhaled a sigh of relief, which made the hair at the nape of his neck flutter slightly.
"I'm really sorry, Sam." I had a feeling that no matter how many times I apologized, I was never going to manage to get across how truly, truly sorry I was.
"It's okay. So you weren't ready this time. We can wait a bit longer if you want."
I thought about it. How to tell him?
"I... I don't know if I want to."
Sam turned around, the look on his face telling me he was panicking slightly. "Ever?"
"Yeah. I mean, I'm not breaking up with you. Nothing like that. No no no. I love you, Sam." The smile this brought to his face matched the one on my own. I hugged him tighter to me. "And I love being with you, but I really don't want to try... that... again. I didn't like it."
Screwing his face up in thought for a moment, I felt Sam tense briefly in my arms. "You liked what we've been doing so far, though?" he asked cautiously.
I nodded enthusiastically. "Ohhh, yeah. And I want us to do more. I just... I'm starting to think maybe I'm just not.. you know..."
"Yeah, that." Okay, now I was blushing again. Don't get me wrong - I love Sam, and our relationship is by far the best thing ever to have happened to me, but I was having some trouble coming to terms with the fact that I needed a whole new vocabulary in order to discuss my sex life.
In fact, I was beginning to feel that talking was vastly overrated. I slid a hand under the hem of Sam's t-shirt, wanting to feel his skin, and used the other to unbutton his jeans before reaching in to fondle his cock.
"You're sure you want this?" he murmured, reaching his arm up so that his hand could stroke the back of my neck, on just that spot that he knows drives me wild.
"Oh, yeah." I pulled him back against me, letting him feel my burgeoning erection as I rubbed it against his ass.
Within minutes we were once again naked and wrapped around each other, kissing frantically as our hands mapped each other's bodies.
Sam pulled his mouth from mine to bite down gently on my shoulder, then turned to look me in the eyes. He looked wild - the sparkling blue of his irises just a sliver of color around the black pools of his pupils. I lunged forward, wanting to devour his mouth, but he held his hand up and tenderly took hold of my chin before our lips could connect.
"You know, maybe you don't want me to fuck you, but there's something else we could try," suggested Sam in a husky voice that nearly made me come right then.
"What?" I forced out, desperate for more physical contact with him. It was like a craving - I just could not get enough of this man.
Sam looked down at his erection then back up to me. Holding my gaze with his eyes, he slowly licked his lips. Have I mentioned recently how eloquent my boyfriend is?
I gulped nervously. Sam's... well... he's big. I mean, it's not like I've ever had any complaints from the women I've slept with, but Sam... oh boy. I looked down to where his cock was pushing out from under a bushy nest of hair. Maybe it wasn't exceptionally thick, but it was so damn long. I couldn't for the life of me figure out how I was ever going to fit it all in my mouth.
Looking back up at Sam, I could see he understood what I was thinking.
"It's okay," he whispered, kissing me lightly. "There's absolutely no pressure, babe. Just do what you can - whatever you want."
I nodded, still a little nervous, and began to work my way down Sam's body as he lay back on the bed. I kissed and licked and nibbled and bit at his chest and stomach then moved my assault onto his hips.
Sam moved a hand to guide my head and out of the corner of my eye I could see he was using his other one to grip at the headboard. His cock looked harder and redder than ever before as I moved across to it.
I wrapped my hand around his shaft and began to stroke up and down lightly as I held his balls in my other hand. Slowly, I lowered my mouth over him as his musky scent filled the air. I took the head of his cock into me and sucked, all the while stroking the rest of it with my hand.
"Oh, that's so fucking good, Josh," moaned Sam, thrusting his hips up so that he could slide deeper into me. Abandoning his sac, I pressed his hip down with the palm of my hand, needing to control his movements.
I bobbed my head down on him, taking him a little deeper each time. My jaw began to ache so I pulled back and began to lick at his cock in long, sweeping strokes from the base up to the head, then moved down lower to suck and lick at his sac.
The groan this elicited from Sam went right to my groin and I felt myself harden more than I'd ever thought possible.
"You like that?" I asked as I moved my mouth back up to the tip of his cock, where precum was beginning to leak out.
"Shit, yes," hissed Sam. "You're a fucking natural, Josh. I love the feel of your mouth around me - so keen and eager. You want this, don't you? You're just a born cocksucker, huh?"
Oh, man, I love how dirty Sam gets when he's turned on. At work he's so neat and tidy and prim and proper, but get him naked and sweaty and horny and his mouth turns all filthy. And I have to admit, there's a part of me that really gets totally turned on hearing him come out with that stuff.
I lapped at his precum, tasting him for the first time. It wasn't as bad as I'd feared, vaguely bitter and kind of salty. For a moment I imagined we were on the deck of Sam's boat, somewhere miles out into the ocean, the blue of the sea reflected in his eyes, the warm sun beating down on his honey-golden body stretched out on the white deck, under me, in my mouth, crying at the top of his voice how good he felt.
I wrapped my lips around him again and went back to the sucking I'd been doing earlier, wanting to see what kind of noises I could bring him to make now.
Sam's hips began moving again, and this time I let them a little more - wanting to take in as much of Sam as I could. Once I'd figured out to breathe through my nose, I quickly got to like the feel of him filling my mouth, his cock pressing down against my tongue.
His breathing speeded up, becoming harsher and less regular as he gripped my head harder, fingernails pressing into my scalp.
"I'm coming," he cried, pulling my head up.
I pushed it back down, wanting to taste him, wanting to know the feel of him coming in me. I sucked hard and with a final jerk of his hips, Sam came, filling my mouth with his cum. As the first spurt hit the back of my throat, I felt myself coming too, without having been touched.
I swallowed down as much as I could then lifted my head off him, letting the last few drops trickle down his cock. Sam tugged at my shoulders, drawing me up to him until we were face-to-face again.
Bending down, my mouth met Sam's and we shared a long, open-mouthed kiss as I let him taste himself on my tongue, which was really hot. All these different flavors of him - his skin, his mouth, his cum - combined into this amazing sensation and I lay down on top of him, pressing him deeper into the mattress.
He sighed deeply and wrapped his arms around me as I nuzzled his neck.
"That was incredible, Josh."
We kissed again. "Yeah?" I asked nervously. "You're not just saying that."
Sam pulled me even closer to him. "Of course not. It felt damn good to me." He paused. "Did you enjoy it?"
"Oh, yeah," I smiled. "I wanna do that again. And maybe even..." My voice trailed off.
"You wanna fuck me?"
Mmm." I was growing sleepy.
"Okay. Sleep now, though, yeah?" Sam's voice was soft as he closed his eyes.
I shifted so that I was half on Sam, half on the mattress and nestled in closer; wanting to be as close to him physically as I felt emotionally.
We slept soundly in each other's arms and when we woke up the next morning, I made love to Sam. It wasn't perfect, being the first time I'd ever tried that, but we knew we had all the time in the world to do it again and again and again. And if ever there was a thought guaranteed to bring a smile to my face, that was it.
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