Title: Pillow Talk
Author: Hannah
Rating: PG
Summary: Women confuse Sam... and Josh (Post-Ep for season three episode Night Five)
Feedback: Very much appreciated to hannahfmuk@yahoo.co.uk
Website: www.geocities.com/hannahfmuk
Disclaimer: Not mine. Notes: Thanks once again to Jesse, who beta'd this fic. Also, while this is a post-ep, it's vaguely AU in that I ask you to imagine a world without Amy (something I suspect a large number of you will be happy to do!)
More notes:Thank you also to everyone who has sent me feedback for Relax and Consequences... you've all been so very kind and have really brightened this very rainy month for me.

Pillow Talk by Hannah

"Women confuse me."

With a weary sigh, Josh rolled over in bed to see Sam lying next to him staring up at the ceiling, a puzzled look on his face. "Women confuse you?"

"Mmm."

"Any particular reason you felt the need to share that with me at... oh, ten to three in the morning?"

Sam shrugged, the outline of his bare shoulders visible in the light filtering in from the streetlamps outside. "I was just thinking."

Josh rubbed his face as the realization dawned that he wouldn't be going back to sleep any time soon. "About women?"

"About how I don't know what women want any more."

"What women want?" Josh repeated.

"Yeah."

"I'm sorry. I didn't realize I'd gone to bed with Mel Gibson."

Sam smiled and rolled onto his side, slinging his arm across Josh's waist to pull him closer.

"I mean it, Josh. I made a comment to Ainsley about how good she looked and this temp woman jumped on it and told me off for being insulting and sexist. Then Ainsley told the woman off for telling ME off."

Josh raised his eyebrows, unsure what response was expected.

"So I've decided," continued Sam determinedly. "No more women for me. Ever."

"Ah, Sam?" Josh was beginning to feel a little worried. "I thought you already made that decision."

"I did?"

Josh was now slap bang in the middle of his worry zone. "We had a little conversation a couple of months ago where we promised ourselves to each other? Went something along the lines of: I, Sam, take thee, Josh, blah blah blah till death do us part. Ring any bells?"

"Blah blah blah? Way to tug at my heartstrings there, Josh."

"Sam..."

"No. It's okay. I mean, lucky me - I have the world's most romantic man right here in my bed. How much more good fortune can the gods bestow upon my humble self?"

"Hey," squawked Josh indignantly. "You're the one who forgot we ever made those vows."

"I didn't forget Josh, I just..." Sam sighed, trying to find a way to explain. "I just didn't really get what they meant. I mean, spending the rest of my life with you I get. Totally." He grinned happily at Josh, who returned the look of affection with one of his own. "It's just… you know... never sleeping with a woman again. It seems that part maybe didn't sink in so much."

"But you're okay about it, right?"

"What?"

Josh's worry, which had been temporarily assuaged by Sam's smile, returned and instantly upgraded to panic. He began petting Sam's hair and neck and back with nervous, fluttery hand movements. "You're okay about never sleeping with another woman again, aren't you? I mean, I love you, Sam, and I want you to be happy but I really couldn't stand the thought of sharing you with anyone."

Sam bent forwards and kissed Josh softly on the cheek; a kiss of love and reassurance. "I'm okay with it. I promise. It's just a big thing, you know? I mean, I was going to marry Lisa. I was going to have a woman in my life - in my bed - forever. And then there was Laurie. And Mallory. And..."

"Okay. I get it." Nothing got Josh more riled up than a list of Sam's exes. "So I don't have to start planning any threesomes?"

"Well, I don't know about that," Sam said with a playful leer. "I don't think it'd take much to convince Donna to join us."

Josh grimaced. "That's... ya'know... that's not a mental image I needed. But, hey, did I tell you? She got a job offer tonight. Some internet start-up company being run by an old college friend of hers."

"She's not going to take it, is she?"

"I don't know. I think I might have been a bit of a jackass to her when she first told me, but then she was helping CJ deal with that reporter's wife and when the news came through he was dead, she seemed really affected by it. So maybe she'll stay."

"Maybe?"

"I was watching her from my office and she noticed me. She gave me some kind of meaningful look, but since I'm probably the only man on the planet less attuned to women than you are, I have no idea what she was trying to tell me."

Sam's hand slid up into Josh's hair, tugging his head so that it came to lie on Sam's shoulder. "I think she was trying to tell you that she's working in the most amazing place, doing a once-in-a- lifetime job. And that she loves you and she wouldn't leave you."

"You think?" Josh was drifting off back to sleep.

"Yeah."

"Okay." Josh kissed the warm, smooth skin of Sam's shoulder and nestled in closer to his lover. "See, between us, we can decode women. We're a good team."

Sam hugged Josh closer to him as he closed his eyes.

"The best, Josh," he whispered. "Together, we're the best."

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