Author: Anne Marsh
Title: Watching Movies 2 - Wayne's World
Summary: Josh and Sam watch Wayne's World, and some truths come out...
Notes: Josh POV, First Time story-- yeah, it pre-dates the Lion King one. Sorry if that's any confusion. As a First Time romance, it's more focus on S/J than on Wayne's World. One line in here was inspired by Rob Lowe's hosting of SNL-- if you've seen the ep, you'll probably spot it.
Watching Movies 2 - Wayne's World by Anne Marsh
"I know he's the bad guy, but... Man. I'd have sex with him any day of the week." I realized too late that I had said this out loud, and that I was, in fact, not alone.
Sam was staring at me. Not gaping, but... disconcertingly calm in his assessment of me and my I'd-sleep-with-a-man-ness.
"Oh... uh... I'm kind of-- gay."
He nodded and looked back at the screen.
"That's it?" I asked.
"I don't have a problem. Except that you want to sleep with the villain of the movie, which is ethically... I mean, think about it, Josh. He's probably a republican."
"I know, but he's sex on legs..."
"And chasing Tia Carrerre, so I don't think you'd be having sex with him, were he, you know, not fictional."
"Are you kidding?" I tossed my head. "I could change his sexual orientation."
"Ri-i-ight... because that's gonna happen."
"Heck, if Rob Lowe wasn't a happily married man with children, I'd change *his* sexual orientation." I declared.
"Which, again, is *so* likely. And what's the big deal with him, anyway? He's not *that* attractive."
"Are you *blind*? No, don't tell me, I already know the answer is yes. And what, you don't think I could do it?"
"Well, aside from the fact that it's *impossible*--"
"Well, I wouldn't talk this way about someone I *knew*."
"Because changing the sexual orientation of someone you know is impossible, whereas changing the sexual orientation of a Hollywood star or fictional character is something you do every day."
"I do do it every day."
He sighed. "No, Josh. If anyone could change a person's sexual orientation, it's you. I mean-- it *is* you. I man-- you could do it, I don't-- What do I mean?"
"Search me." I snorted. "You lost me at hello."
"Josh... I think maybe-- even though it's totally impossible-- you can change a person's sexual orientation."
"I'm not done here. I mean-- I mean to say, I think maybe you have. Because-- I never-- Before you, thought about guys like that. And then-- I can't stop-- wanting to be with you." He confessed haltingly. "I-- I think I love you. I mean, I know I love you. I think... I think I can't ever love anyone else. Because, I tried, Josh, and-- You're the one I think about, when I think about... about-- So I may not be a Hollywood star or an evil record exec, but you could have sex with me."
Thud, I thought, as I barely managed to keep from hitting the floor at his fumbled declaration. It's like four out of five of my wildest dreams just came true. Then the rational part of my brain kicked in. Stupid brain.
"I-- I can't just--"
"Oh." He looked away, heartbroken. "I understand. I mean, just 'cause you're-- Well, I mean, if I'm not your type, that's oka--"
"No, Sam, I--" I interrupted, feeling slightly desperate. Seeing Sam look so... so hurt cut me to the quick. Whatever the quick was. "Sam, I mean-- Not just sex. Because, I love you, too. I always have. And-- if we have sex, now, tonight, before we talk... then I'm just gonna lose you. I'll screw it up like I screw up every relationship I-- And granted, a lot of those are because I'm a deeply closeted homosexual dating women I know are bad for me, but... Do you understand what I'm saying?"
"You're saying... you wanna date me?" He looked up through his lashes-- which really did a number on me-- hopeful.
"Yeah." I smiled, touching his arm gently. "I do. Is that okay?"
"Yeah." He almost laughed. We spent a moment looking at each other and almost laughing, happier than we knew how to deal with. "Yeah, that's-- that's excellent."
"I love you, Sam." I said, earnest this time, touching his cheek. He smiled softly, eyes closing as he leaned into my touch.
"Mm... that's really nice, Josh... because I love you, too... and this... is really..."
"Nice..." I finished, fingers brushing the side of his neck, halting at his collar.
My mouth suddenly went dry, and I licked my lips nervously. Sam's eyes were still fluttering near closed, long lashes sweeping over high cheekbones, his own lips slightly parted in what you could call breathless anticipation, if you were into that kind of phraseology.
I leaned in and kissed him, just softly. His mouth fit against mine like nobody's business, and he sighed as I pulled back, eyes fluttering open again.
"Now *that* was nice." He smiled, touching my shoulder.
"Yeah." I managed.
Sam was blushing. "I've never... man, I feel like such a junior high school girl... I've never been kissed by a boy before."
I snorted. "Yeah, well, I-- I only, you know, a couple of times. In college. With, you know, guys who were drunk enough to excuse it. I've never been open about this, so... my options've been kinda limited."
He gave me a sympathetic look.
"It's okay, you know." I continued. "I mean, it's not like-- I mean, there's so much else in my life, it's not like I was *missing* it, I've always been *busy*, and..."
"But drunken frat boys can't be very good." He shook his head.
I laughed. "No, it was pretty bad. But at the time, I didn't care, because at least I was getting some, you know? College. And, I hardly ever went to parties-- I was very the guy who stayed in his dorm and studied and didn't have time for girls. *That* was a great excuse, 'I don't have time for girls'. Man..."
"Well... I can't promise that *I'll* be very good, but at least I'll be sober." He offered.
"Not tonight." I shook my head. "We should-- we should take it slow."
"Well, no, not tonight. I mean, if we're dating, we should-- I don't know, have dinner a couple times first. If I was a girl and I had sex with you tonight, I'd be a slut. And you know I'm not a fan of the double standard..."
"I mean-- Sam, we really have to take this slow. Because you're something I'm not willing to jeapordize, and I have a talent for screwing up relationships. And-- Until tonight, you never even kissed another guy? Sam... we can't rush into this, physically. It... it would be a disaster. It would be the Hiroshima of sex."
"The Hiroshima of sex?" He laughed. "Sounds like a great name for a rock band, but..."
"So I don't have your mad skills with the metaphors. We rush, and it'll be bad. So we'll go slow. We'll have dinner this weekend, whenever work slows down enough that we can get a couple hours at the same time some night. Maybe we can watch 'Wayne's World II'. And... and we'll go slow."
He nodded. "Sounds do-able. Though I am looking forward to the third date."
I sighed. "Sam... it might not be the third date. I know, I know, the third date's the sex date, but... this is-- different. In a perfect world, it wouldn't be, but we don't live in a perfect world. Have you-- thought about this?"
"I thought the third date would be a good time for... you know, us to move it up a step."
"I mean, have you thought about what it would be like to have sex with another man."
"Josh, you're the only other man I've ever wanted to have sex with."
"As much as that does my ego good..." I chuckled, face heating. "Have you thought about what it would be like to have sex with me, then?"
Sam turned crimson. "Not... not in a concrete sense. I-- I felt like it would be-- taking liberties, and you were my best friend, and I didn't want to-- to betray a trust, so... No. I-- I thought a lot about what it would be like to wake up in your bed, or to pour your coffee, or to hold hands on a porch swing and grow old somewhere, but-- I didn't think, not knowing you would-- that I should think about... *those* things. With you."
"Well, think about them." I told him, squeezing his hand. "Because we can't do anything unless you've thought about it and feel totally comfortable with it, because-- Sam, I'm gonna be honest, I'm scared to death of this thing between us, scared I'm gonna drive you away or something, lose you. And I don't want that to happen."
He hugged me hard, whispering his assurance in my ear. "No, Josh. You've got me, and I'm not going to bolt on you."
"Well, think about it, whatever you're comfortable with. I mean, there's time, start small. But-- this is going to take some easing into."
"I love you."
"I know." I kissed his cheek. "I love you, too, Sam. But you're entering into uncharted territory, and if we rush things, it's... it's going to cause problems. Trust me on that, okay."
A look of agonizing sadness entered his eyes. "Did you have problems?"
"Me?" I pulled a cocky grin. "Nah. Aside from the fact that I've had some really bad sex. But I was already thinking about having sex with guys, long before I ever did anything. No, a-- a friend of mine, from college. Hey, we're missing the movie..."
I started rewinding, and Sam settled against my side. I stopped when I got to the right point, but didn't start again quite yet.
"There's something very beautiful about you, that I can't begin to quantify." He sighed. "This big ephemeral *thing* that makes me love you... I haven't got it quite figured out yet, but I'm liking it."
"I think I understand." I nodded. "I mean, I could name a lot of excellent reasons for me to love you, but mostly, they all fit into something... more."
He kissed me, lips brushing softly against mine, a dry whisper and a promise of next time.
I kissed him back, catching the corner of his mouth with a quick peck, then very gently opening my lips against his. He mirrored it, opening to me, and it took all the willpower in the world, but I didn't dive in yet. This time when I pulled back, he started to follow me, before he caught himself, blushing.
I licked my lips, wanted to absorb the slightly stronger taste of Sam I'd found and just carry it with me forever. He was spicy, in an exotic kind of way, and male, and something dark and forbidden and yet a hundred and eighty degrees from anything wrong.
I looked at Sam's lips. He was sucking them into his mouth, gnawing at them, looking down at his lap shyly, then smiling up at me through his lashes.
"What?" He drew himself up defensively.
"I have never been this happy." I confessed simply. "I have never felt so right, I have never-- Wow, Sam. There's a billion things I can't say to you because they just sound too stupid to really sum up what I'm feeling. It's like words can't say, but-- You are so..."
I was leaning towards him now, drawn by the inexorable-- I hope that's the word, 'cause it sounds good-- gravity of Sam. Later, I'll ask him how one would correctly use 'inexorable', and if it doesn't work out, I guess his gravity is... inescapable, but that one's, you know, pretty standard for gravity.
"So what?" He asked, leaning towards me. Maybe I have inexorable gravity, too. Or maybe gravity isn't supposed to be inexorable, but I think it is. I still don't actually know, though, I'm just flying by the seat of my pants here.
"Just so." I shrugged. He kissed me. This time, his tongue grazed my open lips, but didn't dip into my mouth. Still, he was the one making the move, which I guess bodes well.
I moaned and relaxed against him, feeling his heart beat against mine, and his arms strong around me, and when did Sam go from being a shy virgin to-- to *this*? I was all but trembling with him holding me, and if we didn't stop, I was afraid I'd screw up and take it too far.
"Sam, I hate to say it, but... movie's waiting, it's getting late. And you are *way* too good at kissing."
He blushed again. Back to shy virgin, then. We sat up straight, parting reluctantly, until we were just holding hands.
"I guess... we should press play, then."
"Yeah. I guess so." Hand felt so right in mine, Sam's hand felt so right in mine... "The Scooby-Doo ending is still your favourite, right?"
"Like, yeah, Scoob!" He said, in a perfect Shaggy imitation. I fell onto my side laughing.
We watched the movie, saying in perfect unison 'And I would've gotten away with it, too, if it weren't for those kids and their dog!', and I got the feeling that life was going to be pretty good from here on out.
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