Disclaimer: I don't own them. I'm just playing with them.
Summary: Toby smells good.
Notes: I began writing this with just the dialogue and added bits of description just as notes however, after a few pages I thought it would be fun and different to write this in screenplay format. It's not perfect but I like the style for this story.
Jealousy by Sunny
The senior staff exits the Oval office. CJ heads for her office while Josh follows Toby back to the Communications bullpen. Josh grabs Toby's arm and drags him into the Roosevelt room.
Josh (hands on hips, coat is pushed back): Is there something you're not telling me?
Toby (reads a memo in his hand): No.
Josh: Are you sure?
Toby (looks up from the memo at Josh): I'm positive. Why?
Josh (shifts his stance): You smell different. You smell girly. Are you sleeping with someone else?
Toby: No. I bought some new soap.
Josh: And it smells girly?
Toby (puts the memo in a folder and tucks it under his left arm): Apparently.
Josh: Are you sure it's just new soap?
Toby (irritated): Josh! It's just new soap.
Josh looks at him wordlessly.
Toby (puts his right hand on Josh's arm): I swear. I am not sleeping with anyone but you.
Toby: Ok. End of discussion.
Toby exits the Roosevelt room. Josh watches Toby for a moment before exiting the room and heading towards his office.
Josh is sitting at his desk. His hair is mussed. He's holding a report but not really looking at it.
Donna (from the doorway): Don't yell.
Josh: I wasn't yelling.
Donna: You were.
Josh: I wasn't!
Donna: Whatever. What do you want?
Josh (apprehensively): I need you to do something for me.
Donna: Is it illegal?
Josh (thinks for a moment): No, but if you get caught you'll probably want to kill me and that's illegal.
Josh (whines): Donna!!!!
Donna: What is it?
Josh: I need you to smell Toby.
Donna: Excuse me?
Josh (gets up and starts pacing behind his desk): He says he got new soap but I think he's sleeping with someone maybe CJ. I need you to confirm this.
Donna is standing with her mouth open.
Donna: Let me get this straight, Toby bought new soap and you think he is lying and is actually having an affair with CJ and now you want me to go sniff at him and come back and tell you what I think.
Donna: Have you asked him?
Josh: He denies having an affair.
Donna: You don't believe him.
Josh (sits in his chair): No.
Donna: Are you picking a fight?
Donna (rolls her eyes to the ceiling): Let me think, you guys have been dating how long? Ah yes, long enough for you to decide to pick a fight so he'll break up with you.
Josh: That's not true.
Donna: Yes it is.
Josh: That is so not true.
Donna: I'm going to go see Toby.
Donna: To sniff his new soap.
Donna walks out of the office leaving Josh slumped over his desk.
Toby's office. Toby is sitting at his desk reading from the pile of files in front of him. He hears a noise and looks up.
Toby: Hey Donna. What's up?
Donna: Nothing. Josh says you smell like a girl.
Toby: He sent you here?
Donna: No. I came because I wanted to sniff you.
Toby looks at her with one eyebrow raised.
Donna: You don't want to be sniffed?
Toby: Not really.
Donna (steps closer): Can I sniff you anyway?
Toby: Doesn't Josh have anything better for you to do?
Donna sniffs the air experimentally.
Donna: You smell good.
Toby: Thank you. Now go away.
Donna leaves as Toby watches her.
Toby (under his breath): Josh, I'm going to kill you!
CJ's office: CJ is standing bent over her desk writing on a piece of paper.
Donna (from the doorway): Hey CJ.
CJ (looks up briefly): Hey Donna. Do you need something?
Donna (shakes her head): No. I just wanted to say hey.
CJ (looks up again and smiles): Hey.
Donna (returns the smile): I'll leave you now. See you later.
Donna turns and walks away. She crosses the hallway to Josh's office. Josh is still sitting slumped over his desk.
Donna: I hope no one saw you like this.
Josh (sits up and looks at her): Where have you been?
Donna (smiles and sits on the corner of his desk): I went on your fact finding mission.
Josh (sits up even straighter): And?
Donna: And nothing. Yeah, Toby has new soap and smells terrific. CJ smells like CJ. Which isn't bad but she doesn't smell the same as Toby.
Josh: She's probably wearing perfume.
Donna: Probably. Anything else?
Josh (slumps in his chair again): Not right now. Close the door.
Donna leaves his office closing the door behind her.
Later that evening on a sidewalk.
CJ: Hey guys! Wait up.
Josh, Toby, and Donna are walking down the sidewalk at a fast pace.
CJ (running awkwardly in her high heels): Guys! Wait up!
Toby stops. Josh and Donna keep going. CJ catches up to Toby and takes his arm.
CJ (breathlessly): About time, I've been chasing you for three blocks.
Toby looks down at her feet then up at her face.
Toby: Maybe you should wear sneakers instead of heels.
CJ (snakes her arm around one of his and they begin walking down the street): I can't. Sneakers would look more ridiculous with this outfit than me running down the street in high heels.
Toby: I never understood why women wear high heels in the first place.
CJ: Because men like the way they look on women. They like how the heels accentuate the legs.
Toby looks down at her legs again.
Toby (grinning): I can't argue with that.
CJ and Toby enter a bar where the others are already waiting at a table.
Josh: I got you a drink.
CJ (looks around the table): Where's mine?
Josh: I didn't realize you were coming.
CJ (looks at him incredulously): I told you I was coming. I was chasing you guys down the street. Didn't you hear me yelling at you?
CJ: Didn't you wonder why Toby wasn't with you?
Josh: I thought he stopped to tie his shoe or something.
CJ: Or something?
Toby (begins to stand up): I'm going to go get you a drink. Josh, come with me.
Toby leaves the table. Josh gets up and follows him.
Toby reaches the bar and waves at the bartender then turns to Josh.
Toby: What's the matter with you?
Josh: Are you screwing CJ?
Toby (whispers): Oh Jesus!
Josh: Are you?
Toby: No Josh! I told you before I'm not screwing anyone but you!
Toby orders CJ's drink and watches Josh fidget out of the corner of his eye. Toby becomes exasperated.
Josh: How do you know what she wants to drink?
Toby: Because it's the same thing she drinks every time we go out.
Toby (reaches for a handful of peanuts): Ah-ha?
Josh: You just admitted that you have gone out with her.
Toby rubs his head with his thumb as he munches on some peanuts.
Toby: Josh, I swear if you don't drop this I might just sleep with someone else.
The bartender hands Toby CJ's drink. Toby turns and starts walking back to the table.
Josh: You wouldn't really? Would you?
Several drinks later, Josh stumbles off to the bathroom as CJ heads to the bar for more drinks.
Donna: Hey Toby, how's it going?
Toby (turns to look at her): I don't know.
Donna: Josh is being an ass.
Toby (snorts softly): He's always being an ass but tonight it's like he's picking a fight.
Donna picks up her glass and swirls the liquid nervously. Toby watches her.
Toby (softly): Donna, what do you know that I don't?
Donna (bites her lip and looks around pensively): This is what he does.
Toby: What do you mean?
Donna: This is how he breaks up with people. He picks a fight so that they get mad and break up with him. That way he's not the bad guy.
Toby sits silently and blinks at her. Donna reaches across the table and touches his arm.
Donna: I'm sorry. I wasn't going to say anything but I like you. And I like you and Josh together.
Toby: You think he's trying to break up with me?
Josh: I don't think he means too. It's just what he does.
Toby: He breaks up with people?
Donna: He reaches a certain point in his relationships then he forces a break up. He's done it so often that it's become a habit. A bad habit.
Toby: He's trying to break up with me out of habit?
Donna: You're in shock, aren't you?
Toby looks at her and nods.
Donna: I'm sorry.
An hour or so later, Toby leads Josh into his apartment. Toby turns on the lights as he takes off his coat and wanders around the living room. Toby tosses his jacket on a chair, removes his suit coat and tie tosses them on the chair as well then slumps onto the couch. Josh is watching from the hallway.
Josh: You're awfully quiet.
Toby raises his eyes to look at Josh but doesn't say anything. Josh fidgets for a moment then crosses the room and sits next to Toby.
Josh: Look… about tonight…
Toby (very quietly): Are you breaking up with me?
Josh is stunned.
Toby: Are you?
Josh (shakes his head): No.
Toby: Are you sure?
Josh (swallows nervously): I'm sorry I've been an ass today. I know you're not sleeping with CJ or anyone else. I'm just…
Toby (forcefully): What?
Josh: I guess I got a little jealous.
Josh (nods): I smelled that new soap and it didn't smell like you and all of the sudden all these thoughts were racing through my brain.
Toby: You're brain can't handle that many thoughts at once.
Josh (nods): Exactly. What? Wait a minute. What did you say?
Toby (grins): So you're not trying to break up with me? Or force me to break up with you?
Josh (shakes his head): No. I love you Toby. I've never said that to anyone before.
Toby (takes Josh's hand): I love you too.
Josh (grins): Wanna take a shower with me?
Toby (grins back): I got new soap.
In the bathroom from behind a shower curtain.
Toby: Josh, you smell like a girl. Are you sleeping with CJ?
Josh: Shut up and kiss me.
Laughter. (fade out)
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