Author: Michelle K. (CageyGrl@yahoo.com)
Spoilers: through 'Han'
Summary: She's the other woman. A series of drabbles.
Disclaimer: Characters are Aaron's. Titles are from 'Delicate' and 'Cannonball' by Damien Rice.
DC by Michelle K.
1. we might kiss when we are alone
"I'm not in love with Josh." It doesn't occur to her to ask Amy the same question. "Really."
"Who are you trying to convince?"
"You." She sighs. "Why would I sleep with you if I loved him?"
Amy's smile is pained. "I don't know." She looks around the room before edging towards Donna. "I'm sorry." She mumbles it so low that it's like it was never said. Donna pulls her closer, tasting the beer on Amy's lips as she parts them with her tongue, swallowing Amy's accusations with her kiss.
(Though they dance angrily in the back of her head.)
2. we might take it home Donna moves past Amy after she opens the door. "You slept with him." She tries to keep her voice from sounding accusatory.
"I saw him follow you. I'm not stupid."
"I don't know what to say."
"I could think of many possibilities." She inhales, sitting back on Amy's couch. She knew this would happen. They would fall back together, and she'd end up becoming the other woman. "Are you going to see him again?"
"I see him every day."
"You know what I mean."
Amy sits next to her. "I do," she says, and kisses her.
3. it's not that we're scared, it's just that it's delicate
"Sorry I missed meeting your aunt and uncle."
Donna quirks an eyebrow. "You really care?"
Amy looks insulted. Maybe that's why she says, "Josh said he wants a language for our relationship."
"Really." This is par for the course. Amy treating her as rival, lover, friend, sometimes in a matter of moments. Donna would hate her for it if she could figure out an even way for them to act. "What'd you say?"
Donna nods. She wonders what label Amy would put on their relationship if pressed; if Amy would let herself be forced into such declarations.
4. with the words you've borrowed
"Why would I sleep with you if I loved him?"
Donna blinks at the familiarity of the words. She wonders if Amy realizes where they came from, recognizes how their roles in this have reversed. "I don't know. I never know what you're thinking."
"And you're an open book."
She wants to say: You don't get Josh, you don't get me, and we're through. Instead, she's apologizing, echoing words that Amy didn't mean. Letting Amy whisper dark nothings in her ear as Amy's palms press against her skin.
Then Amy says, "I love you."
That was never in the script.
5. we might make love in some sacred place
Amy's fingers grip onto the edge of Josh's desk, her body arching. "Stop."
Donna knows she doesn't mean that; she never would've let it go this far if she didn't want it to. "No." She makes tiny circles with her thumb as she kisses Amy's cheek, feeling ragged breath against her skin. She tries not to wonder if Amy came here looking for Josh. Turning her head, Donna looks Amy in the eye. "Say you love me."
Amy smiles like a million enigmas wrapped up in one opaque package. Her tongue darts out against Donna's bottom lip. "I love you."
6. why d'ya sing with me at all?
"People are starting to talk," Amy says. "We knew this couldn't last. It was--"
"Then what was the point?"
"Why'd you even start this?"
Amy sighs. "Because I didn't think it'd last this long."
Amy keeps going out with Josh -- going *everywhere* with him -- and Donna's not sure if it's because she really loves him, or if dangling off a man's arm is the perfect way to stop the rumors.
Donna considers asking Josh if he ever heard any rumblings, if he knows why Amy refused half his invitations.
That'd make it too real.
7. it's still a little hard to say what's going on
It's Josh's birthday, and Donna plans a party, because that's what everyone expects her to do. A cake and paper hats, and she feels like an idiot. Then Josh smiles as he feeds Amy cake, so she disappears into his office.
She's not supposed to be this girl, but she can't say who the hell she should be. The door opens and closes, and she readies herself to tell Josh another lie. But it's Amy. "Hey."
"Hey." Pause. "The cake's good."
"I only bought it."
"But you purchased well. That should count."
Amy kisses her.
(This was never really over.)
8. you step a little closer to me She's in Amy's bed when Josh calls. She listens to Amy's side of the conversation -- "Don't come over now. I need to sleep. That's not funny, Josh." -- as she runs her fingers up and down Amy's abdomen. Rise and fall, rise and fall, and Amy's choosing her over Josh.
When Amy hangs up the phone, Donna lowers her mouth to the skin above Amy's hip. Amy pulls her up, their breasts pressing together as they kiss. Words of love and lust intermingle, and Donna feels like this time, it'll last.
(For much longer than a night.)
9. love taught me to lie
"You have to figure this out for yourself sometime."
Josh smiles. "But how'd we spend any quality time together?"
Donna finishes fixing Josh's bowtie, grinning through the images of the night he'll spend with Amy, them splayed against the sheets that Donna recently pressed her back against. "I dunno. We'd figure it out."
Josh's grin fades. "Can I ask you a question?"
"You and Amy get along, right?"
Her heart skips a beat. "Yeah."
"You know if she's seeing anyone else?"
She thinks this is a test. He knows. But when she says, "Of course not," he immediately brightens.
10. love taught me to cry
Josh's faith in his and Amy's relationship is reborn. Donna faintly remembers the time when his infatuation with Amy was endearing, when she smiled at his enthusiasm.
(Such a long time ago.)
She doesn't talk to anyone about it; Josh might find out. Josh would hate her. Like she hates Josh for not being able to see what's right in front of him, for not backing away.
(He saw her first.)
She talks to herself about it, trying to rationalize the feelings. Trying to change them. Trying to stop herself from becoming a blubbering mess.
(She cries before she listens.)
11. it's not hard to fall and i don't wanna lose
"It's me or him."
"Sounds a little soap opera," Amy comments dryly. Her face softens after Donna's doesn't. "It's not that easy."
"I don't care. I just want this to end." Amy doesn't make a joke, smirk, act like she's got it all figured out. Bowing her head, she says, "It should."
She wants Amy to choose her, wants to be the victor in this undeclared war. "Then what?"
"I don't know." She plays with her necklace -- a present from Josh, and Donna wonders if the touch is symbolic -- as she stares at the table. "I don't know."
12. when you know that you just don't know
Donna drops the issue for a few days -- because, after all, she's been avoiding this for months already -- lets it hang in the air as they go through this routine they've created. She draws ultimatums on Amy's inner thigh with her tongue, imagines that Amy can read it all with her lingering fingertips.
(She pretends that sex is poetry.)
When Amy whispers in her ear, "It's over with Josh," she kisses her hard.
Amy is her prize; she'll never let Josh reclaim what she's won. Amy will never want to be handed back.
(Or so she tells herself.)
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