Summary: Someone's drunk...
Feedback: Yes please!
Author's Notes: I wrote this one for May's "warm fuzzies" challenge on the Jed/Leo list. I dunno if it works as that but it's pretty angst free at least! It's entirely unbeta'd so all mistakes, Anglicisms etc are my own.
Intoxicated by Xanthe
Leo looked up from the document he was studying to see Jed standing in the doorway to his office, wearing a tuxedo and a very silly grin. It was late, and he knew Jed had been dining with a small group of his favourite ambassadors - always an excuse for everyone concerned to let their hair down.
"Oh god," he sighed. "Marbury was there tonight wasn't he?"
"Maybe." Jed gave an apologetic little belch and grinned widely. "Dontcha mean Lord John Marbury ? Oh, and he asked after you...well, he asked after someone called Gerald but I'm pretty sure he meant you." Jed gave what Leo could only describe as a giggle. It was, he thought, possibly the most un-presidential sound he had ever heard.
"He got you drunk. He always gets you drunk," Leo complained, glancing back at the papers he was working on. It was late and he really wanted to finish up tonight rather than leaving the work waiting until the following day.
"Mmmm!" Jed gave another wide grin and gazed at Leo stupidly.
"You wanted something, Mr. President?" Leo asked from between gritted teeth, making a note in the margin of the paper he was studying.
"Yeah," Jed replied, with a distinct leer in his voice. Leo looked up.
"Anything I can help you with?" He asked.
"Oh yeah," Jed said breathlessly, his blue eyes fixed firmly on Leo's mouth.
"Oh no. No," Leo said, holding up his hands as if to fend off his old friend.
"Yeaaaaah," Jed purred, slinking into the room as gracefully as his inebriated state would allow. "Yeah, Leo." He came to a halt in front of Leo's desk and leaned on it with both hands. "C'mon... Abbey's been away all week and I'm lonesome," he said in a mournful tone.
"And I'm busy," Leo pointed out, gesturing to the half dozen or so pieces of paper on his desk.
"You can be busy tomorrow," Jed told him with a little pout. "C'mon, Leo...where's your sense of fun?"
"I'm way too old to be having any kind of fun - and so are you," Leo said sternly, in a bid to head off where this was going.
"Damnit, Leo...whyd'you always have to be so serious. Hmm?" Jed asked, with a pleading look in his blue eyes. Leo kept his gaze fixed firmly on his work. "Hmmmm?" Jed said again. Leo ignored him. "Hmmmmmm?" Jed sank to his knees on the carpet so he was at eye level with Leo and gazed at him imploringly across the desk. Leo glanced up and had to bite back a grin at finding himself face to face with a kneeling and thoroughly drunk President.
"Go to bed, sir," he ordered firmly.
"Come with me." Jed waggled his eyebrows suggestively.
"No!" Leo retorted. Jed put his hands on the desk and rested his chin on them in a way that would have been a very appealing if it wasn't so ridiculous.
I know a good game we could play," Jed enticed.
Leo snorted. "I don't think so, Mr. President. Now go to bed."
"You giving me an order, Leo?" Jed batted his eyelashes at him. "S'nice...we could play naughty Mr. President and stern Chief of Staff."
"No, sir, we really couldn't," Leo sighed. "And when I get my hands on Lord John Marbury I swear I'll..."
"John's okay...he was trying to keep me amused 'cause you wouldn't come to dinner with us." Jed pouted again.
"I was busy. I still am!" Leo protested.
"You're looking nice today, Leo," Jed said suddenly. "In that purple shirt - is it purple? It looks kinda purple. I could never wear purple. Couldn't pull it off. You always have a handkerchief to match your shirt and your tie always goes with everything too...in fact...you're kind of a fashion victim, Leo."
"Sir..." Leo felt his voice raising a fraction.
"Everythin' always matching." Jed nodded. "Yeah...you look good in that suit, Leo...but you'd look better out of it."
"Again - no," Leo said firmly, turning back to his work with what he hoped was a forbidding expression on his face.
He heard Jed give a tragic sigh and then his friend staggered over to the couch and threw himself down on it.
"I'll stay here 'til you change your mind," Jed said with a wave of his hand.
"You might have a long wait, sir," Leo informed him dryly.
"I'm a patient man." Jed grinned at him from the couch.
"You are one of the least patient men I've ever known," Leo snorted.
"I can be patient!" Jed protested. "You just sit there and work, Leo, and I'll just lie here, very, very quietly. You won't hear me, I promise. I'll just lie here, quiet as a mouse, 'til your work is done and then you can take me to bed."
"Okay." Leo decided the best policy was ignoring his drunk friend and carrying on with his work. He managed to read through another half a page, making more notes as he went, when Jed's self-imposed silence came to an end.
"So whaddyaworkin' on, Leo?" Jed asked. "Anything I can help with? I'm pretty good at this kind of stuff you know. Laws and bills and stuff." He waved his hand around airily. "I'm the President of the United States you know," he informed Leo solemnly.
"I was kind of aware of that, yes, sir," Leo affirmed.
"So, I'm saying that I know how to do this stuff. Go on, run it past me. Bet I can help." Jed waved his hand again and promptly fell off the couch and onto the carpet.
"Sir - I thought you said you were going to be quiet?" Leo said, trying his hardest to concentrate on what he was reading despite the distractions.
"I was! I am!" Jed said in a loud voice. "I'll shut up now."
"I don't think you've ever managed to do that in your life," Leo muttered under his breath.
"I heard that! S'not true!" Jed protested. "I'll show you. Look. Not talk. Mmmm." He pointed at his firmly closed lips with a theatrical flourish of his arm.
"Okay." Leo turned back to his work and made it through another half a page when he was interrupted again.
"When's my birthday?" Jed asked in a curious tone, as if he genuinely didn't know the answer to that question. Leo ignored him. "It's soon...I know it's soon," Jed ruminated.
Leo glanced at him out of the corner of his eyes. Jed was sitting on the floor with his back against the couch. His bow tie was hanging loose and the top button of his shirt was undone. His hair was all tousled and his bare throat did look eminently kissable...Leo squashed that thought down and glanced back at his work again.
"Happy birthday to me...happy birthday to...Leo - we should get someone to sing to me on my birthday. Like Marilyn did for JFK!" Jed proclaimed. Leo sighed and removed his glasses for the sole purpose of glaring at his friend - a gesture that was entirely lost on Jed. "I know! You could do it, Leo! You could sing to me on my birthday!" Jed announced. Leo stifled a shudder.
"I don't think so, sir," he replied calmly.
"Yeah...it'll be funny...'cause Marilyn was having an affair with JFK, right, a secret affair, and you're my secret affair, so it'll be funny." Jed gave Leo a beaming grin. "Nobody'd guess," he added.
"You think?" Leo raised an eyebrow.
"Nope - nobody'd guess." Jed gave a little giggle.
"And would I have to wear a dress and simper at you while I sung? No, wait...perhaps we should order one of those giant birthday cakes and I could emerge from it half naked, sing happy birthday to you, and then give you a big kiss," Leo told him. Jed gave him a puzzled look.
"Now you're jus' being stupid, Leo," he chided.
"*I'm* being stupid..." Leo began and then he caught himself and sighed. "Oh god, what am I doing, arguing with a drunk!" He lamented.
"You finished yet, Leo?" Jed asked him, staggering to his feet and lurching towards his friend. He put his hand out to lean on Leo's shoulder, missed, and half fell over Leo's desk so that he was lying on his side in Leo's lap. "Oops," he said, gazing at Leo pathetically, his dark hair flopping into his eyes in a way that Leo found appealing despite his best efforts not to be charmed by his drunken friend.
"Okay. We're done here," Leo sighed, recognising that he wasn't going to get any more work done. "Let's get you to bed."
Jed's eyes sparkled. "Goody!" He said gleefully.
Leo managed to propel Jed onto his feet, then stood up and slung one of his friend's arms around his shoulder and walked him out of the office and in the general direction of the Residence.
"Lord John told me a funny story about the Queen," Jed proclaimed as they walked.
"Mmm?" Leo said, steering his friend in as straight a line as he could as they neared Jed's bedroom.
"Yeah. He's funny. He knows lots of stories. He's travelled too. Been all over the place. He's led a full life. You can tell. Everyone likes him."
"I don't," Leo pointed out, opening Jed's bedroom door, levering his friend inside and shutting the door behind them with a well aimed kick.
"Sure you do. You and he just have this 'thing'." Jed threw his arms around to illustrate the point and almost fell over as a result - Leo caught him just in time. "Kind of one of those 'I'll be mean to you 'cause I find you attractive' things," Jed added.
"What on earth are you talking about?" Leo asked, sitting Jed down on the side of the bed and kneeling down to undo his friend's shoes.
"You know. He wants you, Leo," Jed said in a conspiratorial whisper.
"No he doesn't." Leo grinned to himself as he removed Jed's socks and then started helping his friend out of his jacket.
"Yeah...he does...I can tell." Jed sighed tragically.
"He doesn't even know my name. He calls me Gerald," Leo pointed out.
"'Xactly!" Jed proclaimed. "He's even got a special nickname for you - you only give someone a special nickname if you really, really like them. It's probably a good thing you weren't there tonight, Leo. I might have had to fight him for you."
"You, the President of the United States, would have had a fist fight with Lord John Marbury, the British Ambassador, over my affections?" Leo couldn't help chuckling to himself as he threw Jed's jacket onto a nearby chair and turned his attentions to unbuttoning his friend's shirt.
"Yeah." Jed nodded vigorously. "He flirts with you and he flirts with Abbey. He wants to steal you both away from me, Leo." He suddenly looked absolutely, endearingly pathetic, sitting on the bed with his shirt open to the waist, his hair tousled and his eyes sad and blue. Leo shook his head, grinning to himself; he had no doubt that Jed did actually believe what he was saying on some level - when he was sober he was sensible enough to deal with his own jealousy but when he was drunk, which was very rare, he often showed surprising glimpses of his more vulnerable side.
"Hoynes has a thing for you too," Jed told him mournfully.
"Hoynes does not have a thing for me," Leo told him firmly.
"And Josh. Josh has a thing for you as well," Jed sighed.
"No he doesn't."
"And Fitz - you and Fitz have a thing too," Jed lamented.
"Ah, well, you're right there," Leo grinned. "Fitz and I definitely have a thing."
"Leo!" Jed complained.
"Jed, just because you find me attractive doesn't mean that every man I so much as look at during the course of my work is salivating over me," Leo informed his friend, removing Jed's shirt and tossing it onto a pile with the rest of his clothes.
"You think I could take him in a fight?" Jed asked, ignoring Leo's comment.
"Which one? Marbury, Hoynes, Josh or Fitz?" Leo asked.
"Marbury of course! Think I could take him?"
"Sure." Leo nodded his hands going to Jed's pants.
"Really?" Jed squinted up at him.
"Of course. Your army's bigger than his army," Leo said with a grin.
"Leo! You aren't taking this seriously!" Jed complained as Leo undid his pants.
"Move your ass..." Leo slid the rest of Jed's clothing from his friend and tossed it on the pile.
"You gonna make love to me now, Leo?" Jed asked, lying back on the bed, completely naked.
"No. You're drunk," Leo replied.
"Yeah...but not too drunk," Jed said, grabbing Leo by the wrist and pulling him down on the bed on top of him. "I'm horny drunk not drunk drunk." He grinned mischievously, his hands caressing Leo's butt, and Leo could tell by the hardness digging into his hip that Jed was right about that much at least. "All day long, watching you in the office wearing this nice purple suit..."
"The suit is grey," Leo pointed out, shuddering at the thought of wearing a purple suit in the West Wing.
"Whatever...and thinking about undressin' you...and then knowing that Marbury wants to get his hands on you..." Jed sighed.
"He really doesn't," Leo commented, giving in as Jed started to undress him.
"Yeah, he does. Always asking about you. 'Gerald' this and 'Gerald' that." Jed made a face. "You think I'm jealous?"
"You? Never!" Leo grinned, sliding down on top of Jed and stroking his friend's dark hair back from his forehead.
"Kiss me, Leo!" Jed ordered.
Leo moved his face obligingly and did as asked and then came up fighting for air a few seconds later.
"Oh god," he murmured. "You taste of..." He lowered his head and kissed Jed again, inhaling the delicious, heady, never forgotten scents of various different alcoholic beverages from Jed's mouth. "Wine - you had a nice red wine with your dinner followed by..." Leo went back in, devouring Jed's mouth and tasting the drink he had consumed. "Whisky..." Leo said. "After dinner, after coffee, you had whisky and even...I think..." He lowered his head again and explored Jed's mouth thoroughly for another few seconds. "Port," he finished when he came up for air once more. "An expensive port." He sighed, savouring the second hand flavour of drinks he hadn't tasted in years.
"Wow." Jed lay there, gazing at him. "I'm impressed, Leo." He studied his friend for a second and then shook his head, a glimmer of a more sober Jed showing through. "I'm sorry...I didn't think...it's not fair, me being able to get drunk and you..." He shrugged. "Not. It's not fair."
"Don't worry about it," Leo said softly, his fingers gently caressing Jed's face, and then brushing down lower, over his friend's chest. Jed sighed and his body relaxed underneath Leo like a cat waiting to be stroked. Leo grinned - he loved this about their relationship; Jed was always so abandoned and Leo loved exploring Jed's body, eliciting ecstatic mewls of pleasure from him. Leo was a deeply sensual man and he found Jed an immensely rewarding study; after 40 long years as lovers, they each trusted the other implicitly, and Jed was always completely uninhibited in his responses to Leo's caresses in a way that turned Leo on.
"Still, s'not fair," Jed murmured, his hands gently caressing Leo's butt as he talked. Leo shook his head.
"You think I need alcohol in order to get intoxicated?" He asked, lowering his face to Jed's body. He swirled his tongue around a nipple, loving the way Jed gasped underneath him. He covered Jed's naked body with his own clothed one, kissed his way up Jed's collarbone and then nibbled his way along to Jed's earlobe. He nuzzled through Jed's hair, enjoying the familiar scent of it, inhaling deeply. Jed was like a sensory feast he thought to himself as he worked his way over his friend's willing, relaxed body; a banquet, all laid out, ready to be experienced via all the senses - taste, touch, smell, sound and sight. He loved the feel of Jed's supple skin under his fingers, the smell of Jed's hair, the sound of Jed's moans as he surrendered to Leo's embraces, the taste of Jed's mouth as he explored it again, thoroughly, with his tongue, and the sight of his friend, lying naked and abandoned beneath him, his golden skin glowing in the lamplight and his blue eyes dark with arousal.
"I don't need alcohol to get high, Jed," Leo murmured as he set to work arousing his friend with his tongue, fingers, mouth and entire body. "I've got you."
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