TITLE: Sweet Hard-ass
AUTHOR: Julian Lee
EMAIL: thwarted1066@yahoo.com
URL: http://geocities.com/thwarted1066/index.html
CATEGORY: Sam/Will, post-"Red Haven is Burning"
SERIES: "The New Guy"
DISCLAIMER: I'm not Sorkin, Wells, or NBC. I'm not making a cent off of this.
ARCHIVE: Okay to list archive. Anyone else please ask.
SUMMARY: Sam's not drunk. Or blameless. But he is losing.
NOTES: Hey, look! I named this series. And gave it its own page, if you need to read the prior installments. http://geocities.com/thwarted1066/westwing/newguy.html.


Sweet Hard-ass by Julian Lee

"I'm going to lose."

"It's a safe bet."

"I am going to lose this election."

"Okay, what's going on here?"

"Hello, my name is Sam Seaborn, and I'm going to lose the California 47th

district Congressional race."

"Are you drunk?"

"I might be, Toby, my man. I just might be."

"That would explain the hugging."

"Nah. I was still sober then. When I lose, I get to get out of here."

"You're from here. You shouldn't be this excited about leaving."

"Eh. This isn't home anymore. Washington. *Washington* is my home."

"I swear to God, Sam, if you start singing--"

"Washington's where my work is. And my house. And my fish. Hey, do you think

anyone's feeding my fish?"

"I'm sure Will's on top of it."

"Will. Yes. *Will* is in Washington, too. That's the biggest draw,

definitely. But you're there, too. And Josh, and CJ, and the President."

"Yes, Sam. That's where we are."

"And Leo. Can't forget Leo. And Donna, and--"

"Hey, Annette, you wanna quit it with Mouseketeer round-up? Losing or not, you

do have to finish this campaign."

"No more 'trickle-down travesties,' right?"

"That was all CJ."

"I liked the phrase. I just couldn't believe where you wanted me to say it.

Darwinomics. Jeez."

"You're not really drunk, are you?"

"Ah, Toby, you expect me to give up my secrets that easily?"

"You rolled over pretty fast on the Will thing."

"He'd already let the cat out. What would I have done - lied?"

"For starters."

"Oh boy. Toby, you are one of my dearest friends. Let's *not* have this

argument again."

"Not now, no. When the election's over and you're back in D.C., though. You,

Will, and I are going to sit down and have ourselves a long talk."

"Can't wait for that."

"Talk to him lately?"

"This morning. You've probably talked to him more recently than I have. He

thinks he's found a way to work with the Laurens."

"There really are only two of the four--"

"And she's stopped hitting on him, by the way. If she ever was. And then

Elsie called him a very sweet hard-ass. Which I found very funny."

"Listen to me very carefully, Sam. If this is going in *any* way to turn into

a discussion of your sex life--"

"What? No, I'm just saying. Good God, Toby."

"Sorry. I was just...terrified."

"What I was going to say is that I heard someone say something similar about

you once."

"Who? Who said that about me?"

"It wasn't that exactly. It was something like that."

"But what I'm asking is, who said it, so I can hunt them down and kick their


"It was me, actually."



"You called me a very sweet hard-ass."



"I know."

"You called me *very sweet*?"

"More accurately, I may have said 'benevolent.'"

"*You're* the one who ruined my reputation! I've spent the past five years

blaming Andy."

"And yet there are children who are going to be born in a few months looking

*just like you,* so obviously you don't blame her too much."

"When all this time I should've been blaming you."

"Not that you didn't blame me for a lot of other things, anyway, so I'm sure it

all works out in the end."


"And we're good again?"

"Sure. Whatever. Bastard."


Back to the Big Block of Cheese Main Page