Title: "Wondering Why"
Author: Roslyn
Pairing: L/H
Summary: John ponders about why things are
Disclaimer: they aren't mine but I'd have something for them if they were.
Spoilers: None really but it's after the soothing and inspired by Kreguelen's "Waiting"

Wondering Why by Roslyn

"John loves Leo." Sounds good. I can almost visualize those words on my Jr. high school notebook circled by a heart. Boy what a mess that would've caused! As if I'm not looking down a barrel of trouble as it is.

But why? What harm can I do this country getting a hard-on and flushed skin just thinking of him? My job performance? What if Leo was a woman? Same difference. Will the stock market fall if my head spins every time I hear his voice on the phone?

I feel no shame. The homophobes will not take this man from me--a man who makes me happier than I've been in years. To think I almost lost him to some Nazi pigs tha would've gunned for him as surely as they did Charlie. He loves me that's all.

He called me that night to say he was alright... I was so relieved! But he couldn't tell me he loved me on these damned government lines. <Come on over here.> I wanted to say. <So I can hold you and kiss you and we can play in the shower together> Some free country we live in where we can't speak freely. Instead I said I was glad he was okay and waited for him eagerly. And I held him and kissed him and we played in the shower together.

And guess what? The White house still stands. The government is still running. No one died that day as a result of me nibbling his ear or screaming out his name when he sucked me off.

I love how we are--so hot, so intense, so beautiful. Oh! And he's coming here tonight just as soon as they turn him loose. I told him not to even worry about the time. I won't get to sleep without him anyway. I'm restless and hot for him. "He's so..."

The Vice President jumped with a start as the telephone disturbed his lovely thoughts.

"Hoynes here."

"It's me, John."

"Oh God, Leo. Are you still working?"

"nope. I'm being driven there right now. I just couldn't wait to tell you."

John Gasped.

"Are you okay?"

"I am now," he said raggedly. "Get here."

Leo laughed softly. "I'm on my way."

John gently replaced the receiver with a sigh.

<It's like he read my mind!>

He started pacing around the room.

<Yes, it looks fine, if that matters.>

Especially knowing they would clutch so tightly that neither would give a damn what the place looks like. The maid was just in yesterday anyway.

John was already comfortable, barefoot in sweat pants and a T-shirt.

<It'll feel so good to unwrap him out of his three-piece suit.>

If they gave a thought to food he could always send the driver out for Chinese. But right now he was only hungry for Leo.

<God, Why am I so nervous?>

The relationship was six months old. But ever since the shooting he had been afraid where Leo was concerned--not completely sure he was for real--as though he could disapear in a second.

But now the ringing of the doorbell was most assuring and he rushed to let him in. I have to get off now. Library rules. FEEDME!

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