Title: Up
Author: Baked Goldfish
Rated: PG-13
Pairing: Jed/Leo
Disclaimer: Not mine. I'm making no money. Please don't sue.
Archive: Sure
Summary: Jed just can't seem to get it up.

Up by Baked Goldfish

[-----]

Jed sighed, frustrated. "I can't get it up."

"I can tell," Leo said, sounding equally as frustrated. "Hang on a sec, stop fidgeting!"

Rubbing his hands over his face, Jed muttered, "I'm sorry. I didn't - I mean, this has never happened before."

Leo looked up at him, his expression softening. "Look," he began compassionately. "Even the best equipment has it's bad days . . . "

Looking ever so hopeful, Jed said, "The best equipment?"

Leo shrugged. "Well, maybe not the absolute best-"

"Hey!"

"What?" Leo asked, exasperated. "I got mine up, and mine's-"

"Oh, don't start comparing," Jed snapped. Staring at Leo's, he asked, "How'd you get yours up, anyway?"

"I jerked it a little," Leo said impatiently. "Now quiet down and just let me-"

"No, I wanna do it-"

Leo swatted Jed's hand away. "I think you've done enough, sir."

"Oh, I'm 'sir' now," he huffed. "I wasn't 'sir' a minute ago."

"Yeah, that's when I thought you could get it up on your own."

Leo jerked it particularly hard, and Jed's eyes bugged out. "Watch it, you're gonna break it!"

"Sorry," Leo muttered distractedly.

Jed crossed his arms and stared away. "Just - just do it, Leo."

"I can't," Leo muttered, motioning at it. "It's just sittin' there. Mocking me."

Turning his eyes to glance at Leo, he raised his eyebrows. "Mocking you?"

Leo leaned back, seeming a little uncomfortable. "Yeah," he mumbled.

"Leo," Jed murmured, taking Leo's hand. "It's not your fault. It . . . happens sometimes. You said it yourself." As an afterthought, he added, "I doubt even a professional could get it up, much less you."

>From the corner of his eyes, Leo glared at him. Then, he set about his task again, muttering under his breath about showing Jed professionalism. Jed watched him, half amused at Leo's insistence, and half annoyed at the fact that it still wasn't up.

Just then, an Air Force tech sergeant came up behind them; he observed the situation, and said, "Sir? That's going to have to go up."

Both Jed and Leo turned their heads to stare at the young airman. "We know that," Jed spat. "We've been trying to get it up for the last couple of minutes, but it's not working."

The tech sergeant nodded thoughtfully, and asked, "May I try, sir?"

"Go right ahead," Leo muttered, sitting up in frustration.

The tech sergeant reached down, jiggled it a little, and said, "Try it now, sir."

Jed stared down at it for a few seconds; then, he lifted the tray table with ease and locked it into position on the back of the seat in front of him. Looking up at the tech sergeant with an expression of sheepishness and bewilderment, he said, "Thanks."

"No problem, sir," the tech sergeant said. "We'll be landing in a few minutes." With that, he left.

Leo scowled at the tray table. "I coulda done that."

"Then why didn't you?" Jed retorted.

"Because," Leo grumbled petulantly, crossing his arms and glaring at the seat in front of him.

Jed ignored his mood and said, "You know, I didn't even know they had tray tables on Air Force One."

Coming out of his funk for a moment, Leo said, "Only on this part of the plane."

"Why're we sitting in this part of the plane, anyway?"

"Privacy."

"Privacy?"

Shrugging, Leo said, "I wanted to give you a blow job, and I didn't want anyone walking in on us."

Jed twisted around in his seat to see the door behind them. "That airman walked in. If you'd gotten the table up, he would've walked in on-"

"There are cameras," Leo interrupted dismissively. "Security would've seen us, and left us alone."

Eyes going wide, Jed glanced around the room frantically. "They have cameras - you were gonna - in front of cameras?"

"It's not as if the people watching don't keep bigger secrets," Leo huffed. "Settle down, sir. And buckle up."

Slumping back into his seat, Jed buckled up and prepared for the descent. Looking out the window, he could see the thick stubble of lights at Andrews Air Force Base spread out into the sparser, duller lights of the surrounding country. A smile grew on his lips, and he glanced at Leo's reflection and said, "Leo, when we get in, take about ten minutes before staff and come see me in the residence."

"Sir?"

Turning slightly, he said, "Well, I'm pretty sure there aren't any tray tables there."

-end-

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