Title: Tired
Author: Perpetual Motion
Webpage: www.geocities.com/iwannabedonna
Category: Slash, Angst, Drama, Episode Related
Rating: CHILD
Fandom: West Wing
Pairing: Sam/Toby
Series: I don't believe I'm setting myself up for this, but yes. This is the beginning of one.
Spoilers: "SGTE, SGTJ", "17 People", "The Fall's Gonna Kill You"
Summary: Sam must deal with news and suspicions. Toby must deal with Sam's suspicions.
Archive Instructions: Yes, please, enjoy.
Author's Notes: Post-Ep for "Bad Moon Rising". The way Sam looked at Toby, so aggravated that Toby wasn't listening, that I got the idea that maybe Toby had been doing it for awhile and Sam was pissed.
Disclaimer: If they were mine, there'd be sex. I promise. Hey, I mixed up the disclaimer and author's notes. That's odd. :)

Tired by Perpetual Motion

"What are you hiding from me?"

Toby sighed as he closed his apartment door. Everything hurt. His eyes were straining and the tension in his neck and shoulders was so tight he had trouble getting his suit jacket off. "I'm tired."

Sam stanced himself in the middle of the living room. He crossed his arms, lowered his chin a bit, and stared with a glint in his eyes through the hair that fell in his face. "What are you hiding from me?"

"I'm exhausted."

"What aren't you telling me? Why are you not listening when I talk to you? How come I can't get you to touch me most nights? What are you hiding from me?"

"Sam, could we talk about this after I get some sleep?" Toby unknotted his tie and tossed it onto the couch, walking toward the bedroom as he unbuttoned his shirt.

"Are you having an affair?"

Toby froze halfway down the hall. He pivoted on his heel and stared at Sam. The other man stood with his back to the light, making most of his front a giant play of shadows. "You can't think that." ~Of course he can, you idiot. After what's happened with his father how can he not?~

"You won't talk to me, you'll barely touch me, and you didn't even register I was talking to you today. Then when CJ came in, you looked at her like she was the best part of the day. You were so relieved to get rid of me, you didn't even notice me leave." Sam's voice had gone from hurt, to angry, to very soft and vulnerable in a matter of seconds.

Toby stayed frozen in the hallway, his shirt mostly unbuttoned and untucked as his mind pieced together what Sam was saying. ~CJ the best part of the day. Didn't notice me leave. Oh, God, he thinks I'm having an affair with CJ.~ "Sam, I'm not having an affair."

"Then what the hell's your problem?!" Sam sagged slightly as a tiny bit of tension left his body. Toby wasn't having an affair. He could believe that. As long as Toby looked him in the eye he could believe him.

"I can't talk about it."

Toby was looking Sam in the eye again. Sam uncrossed his arms and hung his head for a moment. He walked down the hall, stood a half-step from Toby, and rested his forehead on the other man's shoulder. "You're tired, and you can't talk about why you're tired?"


Sam sighed, turned his head and kissed the side of Toby's neck. "Let's go to bed."


"Sam, I'll be here in my office when you get done."

Sam gave him a funny look. One that read 'huh' and 'where the hell else would you be?' all in a matter of three seconds. "Okay." He left with Leo.

Toby sat on his office couch and stared at the walls. He couldn't see the point in faking his way through the paperwork on his desk. Why fake doing something? He tossed his stress-reliever ball against the side of his desk.

Donk. Donk. Donk.


Oh, God, it was the voice. The voice that made Toby think of his name with no capital letters. The voice that was incapable of capital letters because it was so small and painful. Toby dropped his little stress ball onto the floor. He vaguely heard it bounce and roll somewhere under his desk. "Sam."

"toby…toby…he's-he's sick…the president's sick." Sam almost fell forward as he tried to walk into Toby's office.

Toby was up in an instant, steadying Sam and belatedly noticing Leo with his hand on Sam's back. "Leo."

"He could barely stand straight, but I knew you were waiting for him, so I made sure he made it to you. Can you make it home?"

"Yes." Toby kept both hands wrapped firmly around Sam's biceps. "Sam, let's go."

"okay…he's sick, toby."

"I know, Sam." Toby grabbed his coat and led Sam from the room. "Come on, Sam, we're going home." Toby nodded to Leo in thanks and kept one hand on Sam's back as they walked down the hall.

Sam stayed silent until Toby pulled up in front of his building. "toby."

"I know, Sam."

"it hurts."

"I know, Sam."

"i'm tired."

"I know, Sam." Toby stepped out of the car. He walked around the car and helped Sam out.


"We'll be upstairs in a minute, Sam."

The elevator ride was quiet, Sam stared at the floor and only reacted to Toby when the other man stroked his hair. He leaned over and put his head on Toby's shoulder until the elevator dinged on their floor.

Toby unlocked the door, led Sam in and made sure the door was relocked before pulling Sam into the tightest hug he could.

It took a moment for Sam to react. "toby…" and he started to cry.

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