Title:The Bitch is Back
Author: Jane Harper and Rebecca A. Anderson
The Bitch is Back by Jane Harper and Rebecca A. Anderson
"Jed..." Abbey whined. "*Tell me* you're not going on another damn trip!"
"I'm going on another trip," he replied. "Should I take the black ribbed socks, or the black socks with the wheat pattern?"
"Tea with the Queen."
"FUCK THE QUEEN!" Abbey bellowed.
"I'd rather not, thank you," Jed remarked dryly. "Are you okay, sweetknees? You seem a little... agitated."
"AGITATED? I seem a little *AGITATED*?!" she shrieked. "I'm so hormonal I am going out of my mind, and you're running off to take tea with the Queen of England, Jed!"
"I'm a head of State, Abbey, I have to take tea with the boring old bat," Jed said mildly. "I have three hours before AF1 takes off... think we can get those hormones of yours under control in the next hour and a half?"
"I don't think so, but we can try," she smiled, walking to the door and locking it.
She had just reached up to pull off his tie when there was a knock at the door.
"Go away!" they both howled, in unison.
"Mr. President?" Leo's voice came through the door. "I'm sorry sir, I need you in the Situation Room."
He strode over and threw the french doors open. "What is it?"
Leo's eyes flashed from the President's face to his unruly hair to his half-pulled-off tie to Abbey's face. "I'm really sorry, sir.." he said, trying and failing to keep a smirk off his face.
Abbey gave him the Evil Eye.
"There's something going on on the Iran/Iraq border, sir. Chairman Fitzwallace and Nancy are both here, and they need you to come down." He looked around the President to Abbey. "Sorry Abbey ..."
She threw a figurine at him, but he stepped aside. She barely missed Jed's ear . .
"You know I'm gonna pay for this later . . " Bartlet whispered to his Chief-of-Staff.
The door closed behind the two men and she started to pace. Damn, damn, and double damn, why does this only happen when I'm about to climb out of my skin?? she asked herself.
She swept out of the bedroom into the den of the residence and began rummaging through a pile of magazines on the table.
Shit, she thought, Jed's hidden my Playgirls again. As if Zoey doesn't know what a man looks like by now ...
Like a good Girl Scout, she tried always to be prepared.
If I'd known what this job was going to do to my sex life, she muttered, I would never have let him run.
Someone cleared her throat behind Abbey. She turned to see her husband's Press Secretary blushing slightly and looking at the floor.
"Mrs. Bartlet," CJ began, "I'm sorry to disturb you..."
"CJ... no, you weren't disturbing me," Abbey said mildly, looking around at the destruction she had wreaked. "I was just... looking for something. Yeah, that's it."
"Umm... yeah," CJ said. "Danny Concannon wants you to try to pull off a weekly feature... and you're not listening to me, are you?"
"Actually, I was... Danny wants *me* to write a weekly feature," Abbey mumbled, racking her brain, trying to remember where she had put Jed's tapes.
"Yeah... so, will you, or will I have to relay that you want nothing to do with it?"
"Oh, I'll do it," Abbey sighed. "Look... why don't you send Danny up here..." she said, getting an idea. "And I'll tell him myself."
"I don't think that's necessary -- it's bad enough you agreed to write the damn things!" CJ said, rolling her eyes.
"Well, then..." Abbey sighed. "CJ, dear, why don't you sit down? I've heard a lot of gossip lately..." When all else fails, gossip helps.
"I told Danny it wouldn't work out between us, if that's what you mean," CJ shrugged.
"Why?" Abbey pried, pouring CJ a scotch.
"Because... I don't feel that... thing for him," CJ said with a shrug, taking the drink. Abbey watched, drowning in a sea of hormones as CJ sipped the drink, imagining those lips on hers...
"Men can be such pains in the ass," Abbey responded, trying to rein in her arousal. "Almost enough to make you want to swear them off." She looked over at CJ and waited for a response.
CJ blushed and looked away. "Can't live with 'em and can't live without 'em, my mother used to say."
"Your mother wasn't ... entirely right," Abbey went on, sipping the drink she had poured for herself.
"I suppose," CJ answered, and looked up at her.
Damn, I didn't realize she had such gorgeous eyes, Abbey thought. Then she giggled, wondering if it was the Scotch or her hormones or if she really was picking up something from CJ . .
The younger woman stood up and put her glass on the occasional table. "Thank you for listening, Mrs. Bartlet. I'll let Danny know--"
Abbey put on her most seductive smile. "Do you have to go, CJ? I'm not often at odds for something to do, but this evening . . ."
"Isn't the President getting ready to leave?" she asked.
Abbey nodded. "Again." She heaved a sigh.
"It must be ..." CJ smiled, "difficult for you sometimes."
"Honey," Abbey answered, "you don't know the half of it."
Just then Toby burst through the door. "CJ, there's shit hitting the fan downstairs, we need you."
Abbey contemplated banging her head against the wall.
Just then, she remembered where she had put Jed's porn videos. Sighing, she went into the Presidential bedroom and fished the box out from under the bed. In the top of her box were her missing Playgirls.
She pursed her lips and muttered curses under her breath as she got out her stash of chocolate, popped a particularly outrageous movie into the VCR and flopped onto her back on the bed, looking at her magazine.
"I really hate this job," she muttered.
She sat for a few minutes and flipped through the magazine and had one eye on the video and neither one was helping. There are only so many times you can look at the same thing . . .
She sighed and shut off the VCR. She got back up and went back into the den, and her eyes fell on the computer. Ah! there must be some way to be entertained ...
She booted up the machine and waited.
Giggling to herself pondering whether anyone could find out where she was surfing, she went through about four search engines until she found what she was looking for, and double clicked ...
A big red box came up on the screen. This site blocked by SearchSafe, it said. This site contains one or more words which your parents have deemed inappropriate--
"Goddammit to hell in a rowboat!" she yelled.
It had been a long time since she was frustrated to tears, but she could feel the tears swell up in her eyes as she fought for control. Just then another tap came on the door, and CJ came back in.
"Are you OK, Mrs. Bartlet?" she asked. She couldn't help noticing that the First Lady's hands were shaking.
Abbey wiped her eyes with the back of one hand. "Actually, CJ, no, I'm not. I'm so horny I could jump a western saddle, and there's a vast Republican conspiracy trying to keep me from doing anything about it."
CJ laughed and blushed a little. "I can so relate to that, ma'am."
"Really?" Abbey asked her.
She looked into her eyes for a second. "Yes, ma'am."
"I wouldn't think a beautiful woman like you would ever want for partners."
"It doesn't have anything to do with wanting for partners, ma'am -- it has to do with timing. That's why I can relate . . ."
Just then the President came storming back through the door to the Residence. He strode over to Abbey, took her in his arms, and kissed her, hard, then turned back the way he came.
"Hello, CJ," he said, straightening his tie.
When he was safely back at the door, he turned back to Abbey and said, "I'll have Charlie come up and finish packing for me, sweetheart. It looks like I'm going to be tied up down there for awhile ...
"JED!" Abbey shrieked. "You come through here, kissing me like that, and now you're going BACK?!!"
" 'Fraid so, sweetie," he sighed.
"Well, the least you can do is get Margaret or someone to work on the computer, so I can see..." she stopped her tirade and bit her lip.
"So you can see what?" Jed asked, crossing his arms.
"Nothing. Nevermind, dear... Just go take care of... whomever it is you need to take care of, and then go tell the Queen I said she's going to hell when she dies!" Abbey yelled, throwing a cushion at him.
CJ just stood there, watching Abbey totally lose it. It was actually kind of amusing, truth be told...
"Fine, Abbey," Jed sighed in defeat, walking back out the door.
"What was it you were wanting to see, Mrs. Bartlet?" CJ asked, smothering a giggle.
"Umm..." Abbey murmured, blushing, leading CJ to the computer, and clicking the BACK button. "That one," she said, pointing the link out to CJ.
"Oh, that's easy to fix!" CJ grinned, sitting down and quickly disabling the "mother hen" program. "And, voila!" she said as she loaded a website *very* heavy on gorgeous nude male flesh.
"Yummy," Abbey fairly drooled.
"Umm... yeah," CJ said, with a slight shrug. "Whatever."
"Why do I get the feeling you're not liking this field trip as much as I am?" Abbey purred, clicking through the site.
"Because I'm not," CJ sighed.
Abbey looked over at CJ for a second before the light bulb went on. "Correct me if I'm wrong," she began, "but your not being able to relate the way Danny wanted to doesn't really have anything to do with your job, does it?"
"It's OK, CJ," Abbey went on. "It's just us girls here."
CJ looked her steady in the eye. "No ma'am, it doesn't."
"Why didn't you tell us before?" Abbey asked her. "It won't make a difference ... " She smiled. "Well, it won't make a difference in your job, certainly."
"I didn't want to be the story," CJ answered. "And I'm pretty sure I would be." She started to get up. "Is there anything else I can help you with, Mrs. Bartlet?"
"You don't have to go, CJ; stay here with me awhile. Want another Scotch?"
CJ spun on her heels as her eyes pierced straight through the First Lady. "Mrs. Bartlet, stop teasing me. Don't you know I've been--" She stopped suddenly.
"I'm sorry," Abbey said. "I thought . . . you might enjoy it."
"That's the problem, ma'am. I would enjoy it."
"So would I," she responded.
"You would?" CJ blinked at her, incredulous.
"You're a beautiful woman, Claudia Jean. And loving is loving, don't you know that?"
"But, the President--" CJ began.
"Doesn't care," Abbey finished. "It's been a long time since he's been able to . . . keep up with me. Between the hands of time and his illness . . . well, let's just say that the President and I have an agreement. He gets first dibs, but after that . . ."
CJ swallowed, hard. "Are you saying that you want--"
"Only if you do, CJ. I'm certainly not going to press you." She giggled. "Sorry, poor choice of words."
CJ laughed out loud. "Yes ma'am."
"I think," Abbey said, "you could call me Abbey . . ."
"Okay... Abbey," CJ said quietly. "So..." she started up conversationally, "...who else in the senior staff have you..."
"Fucked around with?" Abbey chuckled. "Leo, mostly. Toby, once. He said never again -- I wounded him," she giggled, glancing down at her nails.
"Toby didn't say anything..."
"Well, he wouldn't, now would he?" Abbey chuckled. " 'Hey, guys, I fucked the First Lady!' "
"Yeah, it would sound kind of ridiculous coming out of the mouth of anyone but the President... So that was *you* I heard in Leo's office the other day?" CJ asked bluntly.
"Umm... yes," Abbey said, blushing.
"While the President was on a conference call?" CJ said with a little snort.
"Ummm... yes. But you have to understand when the call came in, I was with him, and CJ..." she sighed, "I'm so SICK AND TIRED of being left high and dry!"
"I can imagine," CJ said sympathetically.
"And Leo was there, and... it was a step up, y'know," Abbey said quietly. "I actually got my brains fucked out, for once."
"And this is a good thing?" CJ asked.
"HELL YES! I mean, not that I fucked Leo instead of Jed, but... Well, it calmed the hormone storm down for a little while," Abbey said with a shrug.
"And that would be a good thing," CJ agreed with a nod. "I know how cranky you can get, Abbey," she giggled conspiratorially.
"Oh, hon... you have no clue," Abbey muttered. "Like, right now, if someone with their finger on the trigger hadn't interrupted my fun, I'd probably be kicking and screaming with the best of 'em," she growled, mentally cursing someone in Iraq. Or Iran. Whichever started it.
"Well," CJ said, taking a step closer to her, "I might be able to help with that . . ."
Abbey looked up at her. "Don't make promises you won't keep, girl . . "
CJ looked right back at her. "And don't ask for it if you don't want it, Abbey."
The First Lady responded by leaning up to her, and CJ bent over and brushed the older woman's lips with her own, tentatively, waiting to see what would happen.
Abbey held back, unwilling to be the ultimate aggressor, wary lest she be accused of misusing her influence.
CJ must have sensed this, because she put one hand on either side of Abbey's face and kissed her hard. "Abbey," she whispered, "you don't understand, I've wanted to do this since . . ."
"Shut up, Claudia," Abbey said, pulling her in for another kiss.
The two of them explored every inch of one another's lips and mouth, first gently then with a passion that surprised them both. CJ slid her arms easily around her shorter partner, stroking gently down her back to the rounded curves of her ass.
After a few minutes of exploring one another, Abbey pulled away. "I'd better take care of something," she whispered.
She went to the Residence door and leaned out. "Albert?" she said to the agent. "CJ and I will be . . in conference for awhile. Nobody disturbs us, ok?"
"Yes ma'am," he said.
Abbey turned back to CJ. "Now, where were we?"
She held out her arms to the First Lady, who swept into them and their lips met again, and they began to unwrap one another like Christmas candies. Abbey tossed CJ's jacket aside and unbuttoned her blouse, kissing the skin underneath each button, then she led the younger woman over to the sofa and lay back while she returned the favor.
Abbey wasn't wearing as many clothes, having made herself comfortable in a silken robe over the camisole she'd worn under her suit earlier . . . so CJ was able to give concentrated attention to the curve of Abbey's neck and shoulder, tracing the lines of the camisole straps with her tongue.
Moaning, Abbey pressed herself up against CJ. "Maybe ..." she whispered "we'd better take this . . . into . . ."
Their mouths found one another again and hands began to push and pull clothing to the floor.
CJ pulled back and sighed, "I've wanted this for so long, Abbey." She moved her lips to Abbey's neck, nibbling her way from jaw to collarbone, mapping the terrain of her ivory throat. "You have no idea..."
"I'm getting a clue," Abbey moaned as CJ nuzzled the cleft of her collarbone. "Why can't Jed do this?" she grumbled, writhing under CJ's hands as they teased at her breasts.
CJ pulled back just enough to look into Abbey's desire-glazed eyes. There was a predatory sparkle there, as if she was ready to turn the tables and torture CJ...
Speaking of which, Abbey was getting hotter and hotter, and all she wanted was to make CJ feel the same burning need that was radiating throughout her body. She gently raked CJ's back idly with her nails and was rewarded with a deep-throated moan from CJ, who had bent to suck on her breasts.
They had both slid down on the sofa to the point of imbalance, so Abbey reached down and cupped CJ's chin with her hand, and said, "This is lovely... but shouldn't we go somewhere . . . roomier?"
CJ laughed and said, "If you're cramped, imagine how I feel -- I'm six feet tall!"
Abbey looked her up and down and licked her lips. "Yeah, I know . . ."
The two of them walked back into the guest bedrooms, arm in arm.
Once they had picked one, CJ jumped up on the mattress, giggling like a schoolgirl. Abbey, on the other hand, transformed into a deadly serious cat . . and leaned over CJ, pressing her into the mattress, covering her with hungry kisses.
Moaning, the younger woman reached up to hold onto her pursuer with the pent-up passion of her two years of waiting.
Abbey trailed kisses down CJs neck, to her nipples, to her belly, and down to where she still had a swatch of silk panty covering her womanhood. Abbey slipped a hand underneath the satin and swept it aside. She began to nibble and kiss all around, down one thigh and up the other, teasing toward CJ's softness, making her moan and lift her hips.
Finally .. at long last .. Abbey's tongue found its target, and began to tantalize her with long slow strokes over the heart of her passion. With a shudder, CJ reached down and buried her long fingers in Abbey's hair, and pulled her in. With a cry, the younger woman exploded, and Abbey laughed, a belly laugh that began in her toes and rolled upwards.
"What . . .are you . . . laughing about?" CJ panted.
"This is so much fun!"
CJ rolled over toward Abbey. "I"ll show you fun . . " she threatened.
Abbey should have known better than to egg CJ on, but she was far past giving a damn whether or not she even cared!
CJ bent to kiss her deeply, worshiping every inch of her mouth as her hands moved over every inch of flesh she could reach -- and with her long arms, it was most of Abbey's body.
Abbey pushed her back and growled, "Just fuck me already. I have been tortured long enough!"
CJ nuzzled her neck, nibbling an earlobe. "Oh Abbey," she said, "you just don't get it. This isn't just about getting fucked." She slid down to suckle one of Abbey's ample breasts and reached down to stroke the inside of her thighs softly, teasing the tendrils of her pubic hair with fingertips.
Slipping two fingers up inside her and massaging her clit with a thumb, CJ made her moan and twist and thrust her hips up toward the younger woman's hand. With a loud cry, Abbey shuddered toward ecstasy and exploded into CJ's hand.
Abbey panted, trying to catch her breath, but CJ bent to suck it all away again in a mind-shattering kiss. "This is about longing... years of want... need..." CJ murmured, her face just barely an inch from her lover's. "This is about me, now, not you."
"Okay," Abbey said, her eyes widening a bit at CJ's taking charge. She was used to being the one in charge of what went on, be it in sexual matters, or even in the kitchen. This was certainly going to be interesting.
"I am going to play with you like you've been wanting to play with me all afternoon," CJ said, nibbling on Abbey's fingertip, sending a frisson of fire blasting its way through her, scorching everything in its path, including what was left of Abbey's sense of reason and sanity.
Not that she needed either of those anyway, considering this was possibly even better than the loving she had gotten from Leo earlier in the week.
CJ moved down to her feet, and began kneading her insole, hitting all of the right pressure points to make her go weak and melt back onto the bed.
CJ's nimble fingers moved up to her ankles, massaging gently. Then on upwards to her calves... There were interesting points of pressure there that left Abbey moaning and squirming. CJ smiled wickedly, her eyes smouldering.
She just barely brushed the back of Abbey's knee, which sent the older woman practically flying off of the bed.
She continued on, all the way up to Abbey's hip, soothing away the tension in the muscles, but causing more tension in the rest of her body. With a smirk, she started with the other foot, and did the same thing.
Only this time, when she touched Abbey's knee, Abbey bit back a sob of pain. "Arthritis," she muttered, gesturing for CJ to continue. CJ bent over the tender knee and, replacing fingers with lips, covered it in kisses. Abbey grinned. "You could make getting old almost bearable."
"That's not the agenda, Abbey," she responded, and got up from the bed. Abigail followed her with her eyes as she walked down the hallway, disappeared into the kitchen, and returned with a cup. "Close your eyes," CJ said.
Abbey complied, and felt the sharp tang of ice on her belly. Slowly, it climbed up her breastbone, neck, and chin, until it was rubbing her lips, and as she reached out with her tongue to grab it, another, tinier, piece of ice found its way to her other set of lips .. and she cried out
A mouth and tongue wandered over her skin, pursued by the cold, and she began to squirm and moan. "Need something, Abbey?" CJ asked, but the other woman bit her lip and refused to respond. "Oh that will not do," CJ giggled. "That absolutely will not do."
"Can I open my eyes now?" Abbey asked.
"But--" She was cut off by the sensation of another body pressing full length up against hers, pinning her to the mattress.
Abbey's eyes sprang open and, lithe as a cat, she grabbed CJ around the waist and rolled over with her, then sat up and straddled her hips triumphantly. She never shrank from a challenge . . .
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