Title: The Art of French Kissing a la Sam & Toby
Author: samkitten2001
Pairing: Slashy Overtones/Sam, Toby and Josh
Rating: NC 17 because of the Slashy theme. Nothing really too racy, yeah, sure. If this is not your cup of tea, please skip. You have been warned ahead of time.
Plot: Absolutely no plot whatsoever. Sam, Toby, and Josh just need some down time from the emotional roller coaster ride of the first two seasons. No spoilers that I can see.
Disclaimer: No, I don't own any our guys. Just having some down time with them. Will return them to Aaron unharmed. I have nothing but bills anyway.
Note: This has not been beta'd. All mistakes are mine. Hope you enjoy reading. Had a little fun when I saw the AOL Welcome screen on Wednesday. Enjoy! This is for all those that need a little fluff in their lives with no plot. Oh and yeah, first time slash fan fic, so please be gentle.


The Art of French Kissing a la Sam & Toby by samkitten2001

A Saturday evening spent in Toby's office engaging in typical guy talk and killing time.

Sam, Josh and Toby are sitting in Toby's office after eleven PM waiting for Leo, CJ and the President to get back from an informal press gathering.

Sam is playing solitaire on his laptop sitting on Toby's couch. Toby is sitting at his desk throwing his rubber ball against the cabinet in a steady rhythm like Morse code and Josh is reading his email on his laptop sitting propped up against pillows on the floor. Soft music from the eighties is playing from a radio in Sam's office.

"Wow!" Josh exclaims rolling his eyes.

"Now what words of wisdom did your mom impart with this time?" Toby stops throwing the ball at the cabinet and instead aims for Sam's shoe, which happens to be perched on Toby's desk, attached to Sam's leg. When said ball hits said foot, Sam, the lap top, his foot and the rest of the books on Toby's couch hit the floor with a loud thud. The jolt causes Josh to glance at Sam with a grin on his face but he soon loses it when Sam throws the ball at Josh.

"Ouch! What happened?" Sam's glasses were knocked askew when he had fallen off the couch. His hair was everywhere. He had this tousled little boy look that got Toby everytime. Toby had to hide a grin when he spoke, instead trying to be the gruff billy goat.

"Your foot happened to be in the way. It was on my desk."

"Toby, you messed my cards up. I was going for a record. Now I have to start all over not to mention..."

"Aren't you guys the least bit interested in what I found on the Internet?" Josh gave both of them a very impatient look.

"Now what, Josh?" Toby and Sam answered, simultaneously bored.

"The main topic today is the art of French kissing."

"Josh, what the hell are you looking up? I thought you were reading your email?"

"Kinda got waylaid there, didn't you? They don't pay us to wander around the red light district on the Internet, you know."

"I was in the process of opening my mail when my AOL welcome screen said: Pucker Lack Power? Help Is Here. 7 Smooching Questions Answered. Give Him A Kiss He Won't Forget. And French Kissing is listed first. A whole how to manual right here on my computer welcoming screen."

"Uh, Josh, you don't mean to tell me you've never..."

"I plead the fifth."

He does not glance at Sam for fear he see those blue eyes undress him right down beyond those boxers and proceed to go through each step one by one.

He glances quickly to Toby and then away after he sees the smoldering fire behind his eyes. He tries to concentrate on anything but his two favorite colleagues, who are literally stripping him down beyond his bvd's with God knows what on their minds. He never felt so naked in all his life.


"Well, Tob...Actually I thought French kissing was done by a French person until I learned the true art of French kissing at the ripe old age of twelve. She was fourteen and we were in the art museum and I just have to say those nude paintings will do something to you. They are very provocative. They'll get you in the mood real fast." He had a smile on his face which just amused Toby to no end.

"Sam, you old sly devil. You were twelve and she was fourteen? Talk about Mrs. Robinson and the graduate? What happened to said fourteen year old temptress?"

"She married a quarterback for the Steelers. They have five kids and God she had the sweetest lips I can still taste..."

"Guess she perfected the technique. Guess her lips weren't her only asset?"

"I was not that bad either. She taught me a lot. I will always remember her fondly. She was my first. Too bad her father caught us. I might be a football player."

Josh just stared open mouthed from Sam to Toby.

"What about you Toby? Fess up."

"Actually it was at my bar mitzvah. She was my age and the rest is history. We later hit it off pretty good and decided to try our hand at marriage. French kissing is easier to master than marriage. She still gets my heart racing when I watch her speak though."

"I bet more than you heart races."

"Josh, bet we could teach you."

"Let me just read some of these first. I'll tell you later if I need visual aides. I probably know all the mechanics to it. How difficult can it be?"

He looks at Toby and Sam who are grinning at each other trying to hide their amusement.

"If Leo was here we'd be three unemployed staffers."

"We'd be three horny, knowledgeable but satisfied unemployed staffers. Betcha Leo's a good French kisser."

"Toby, I don't think that's a good idea to put in my head. Next time we are in a staff meeting, I won't be able to concentrate."

"Yeah. Not to mention CJ would string us up."

"Bet she can tongue with the best of them. I can tell by the way she talks."

"Toby, there you go with that mouth fetish again."

"Women's mouths turn me on. Josh, until you've tried it shut up."

"Okay. Let's hear what the *sexpert*, I mean expert says about the art of Frenching."

"Love how that rolls off your tongue, Sam."

"Toby, Sam's a guy."


"So? Did I get hit on the head with Sam's laptop and you just say that you..."

"You heard what you thought you heard."

"Guy's French kiss other guys?"

"What planet have you been on, Josh?"

"Guess not the same one you guys hatched from."

"Okay Josh. Start at the beginning."

"You've got to be gentle with me. I don't know nothin about birthin no babies."

"Josh, you definitely are not Butterfly McQueen in Gone With The Wind. Read on before we wrestle you the ground and teach you the old fashioned way."

"I hope this place is not bugged for posterity."

"It's on the Welcome Page. Fair game."

"Okay Josh. Read on. He glances back at the screen and begins to read out loud the steps one by one."

The French kiss is the most intimate, sensual, and exciting kiss around. Here are some tips for doing it right:

1. Take an active part in the kiss. Push your tongue into your partner's mouth.

Sam mischievously gets up and makes his way over to Toby's chair, and proceeds to demonstrate as Josh reads on. Sam's blue eyes pierce Toby's smoldering brown eyes as he pushes his tongue willingly in Toby's mouth. At first contact, both are struck by the pure electricity of the moment but knew that somewhere, somehow that moment would happen and now is as good as any. No regrets just pure adrenaline and lot's of raging hormones racing through their bodies. Step One perfected. Sam's got that down to an art form. That museum experience really paid off. Her dad must have not caught them until later Toby ponders reflectively.

2. Take a passive part at times. When your partner pushes his or her tongue into your mouth, relax and enjoy.

Toby relaxes against Sam and just enjoys all the sensations flooding his body at the moment. Sam has a way with words but he also has a way with his mouth and his tongue. How did he get so lucky with him as his Deputy? Step Two perfected, too. Way to go there, Sam.

3. Breathe through your nose. It prolongs the kiss.

Yeah, that one sure works well. She knew all the right moves. So did her dad. Why did he have to find them? It felt so good and Sam had finally found something he was very good at besides speaking and writing beautiful words, thoughts and ideas. Why did everyone think they were headed down the road to perdition for just kissing? What harm is there in kissing? French kissing? You can't get pregnant. Another step perfected until thwarted by her father.

4. Close your eyes at times so you concentrate on the sensations.

Toby is in seventh heaven, he glances contentedly every few minutes at Sam's face and then closes his eyes so he can remember every facial feature and revel in the beauty of the sensations Sam evokes in his body. Even Andi at times could not move him like Sam is able to right now. Sam has such a way with everything, Toby just wants to cry out with joy but he remembers where they are at and knows that he'd better restrain himself just a while longer. Better than at the bar mitzvah. Wow, and he thought he knew all the right moves. He felt like such an amateur but he was having fun all the same.

5. Feel free to make sounds -- small cries and moans communicate excitement to your partner.

Love how Sam whimpers. Somehow just grabs something inside Toby and squeezes it until it hurts. Sam is so innocent, so trusting and just brings out the protective in Toby. God forbid anyone else hurt Sam or Toby would tear them limb by limb.

Toby's guttural groan against Sam's tongue just drives him wild. Why did he have to wait this long to find someone who felt so right and felt so good? Where has he been all my life? Why now? What kind of a future is there? So we have today, let's not ask for the stars? One of those Bette Davis movie lines, I think. Sam shakes his head quizzically.

6. Explore the roof of your partner's mouth, along with the inside of the cheeks, the teeth, under the tongue, the lips, etc.

"Sam, don't do that. That drives me wild and I may not be able to hold back."

"Toby, it's all that in a nutshell. The way to a man's heart is by French kissing. There is no sexier way to get one's partner hotter than by French kissing them senseless."

"Sam, I think we'd better cool it before CJ and Leo walk in."

"Yeah, Toby. I know. But it feels so..."

If you want to go the advanced route, here are a few more ideas:

Twist your tongue around your partner's.

Wrestle with your partner's tongue.

Playfully lick the tip of your partner's tongue.

Tell your partner to stick his or her tongue out, then lick it.

Gently, then vigorously, suck your partner's tongue.

Chew your partner's tongue with your teeth.

Gently bite your partner's lip.

Have fun kissing!

Josh lifts his head from the computer and is amazed to see Sam and Toby demonstrating the art of French kissing to the oblivion of anyone else in the room. It's good that no one else is in the room or their goose would be cooked. Talk about scandal. Josh could see the headlines now. Communications Director and Deputy caught French Kissing in the...

"Hey guys, what happened to teaching me? I need some actual demonstration here. If they could see me now, I always wanted to learn French kissing but didn't know where to go. Now I know. What better teachers than Sam and Toby? Whew, thank God for AOL, the museum and the bar mitzvah."

"Ready, back to step one? I need lot's of hands on experience. Lot's of one on one. I'll probably need lot's of homework. Toby, you and Sam can take turns at grading my homework. You've had enough practice. It's my turn."

"C'est la vie!"

The End

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