Title: Takes My Breath Away A
Author: Sonia email@example.com
Archives: Everywhere just let me know.
Spoilers: For everything but mostly "Stackhouse Filibuster"
Disclaimer: Sam belongs to Josh. Josh belongs to Sam. They both belong to Aaron Sorkin.I don't fit in the equation unfortunately.
Feedback: Hey, that's what email is for <g>.
Schmoop alert! I love NC-17 fic. I just can't write it. Very ironic since I have a filthy mind. Dedicated to Lynna and Gayle. They are evil for provoking me.<g>
Takes My Breath Away by Sonia
The radio is playing Lite FM music which usually put me right to sleep. Poor Josh. Missing the plane to Florida was a bitch. No Mike Piazza no Mets. Life sucks. Alot. Then I looked over to my left:
<Josh sucks alot and very well too I might add. God I love eighth grade humor.>
I was supposed to go to Sag Harbor...for a day and half. Then catch the 6:30 pm flight out of LaGuardia on Sunday. The time apart was suppose to serve two purposes. Throw anybody sniffing around us off the trail. Also to give us both a little time space. Not "I'm going to kill you if you dont get out of my sight" but more "I'm not use to being in this deep and I need to spend 36 consecutive hours not touching you" type thing.Since he was...hurt, we've needed each other more and more. It has been so overwhelming sometimes we've pushed each other away.He didn't tell me about the panic attacks. It wasn't his fault. He's used to getting through things alone. I'm just as bad. I couldn't let him hold me like he wanted to after I learned about my Dad. Being with each other makes us feel things...more. Sometimes all you want to do is not feel anything. We need to get use to sharing ourselves. Oh sharing our bodies is working otu VERY well but our feelings we need to work on.
<A day and half apart. It would not have worked anyway. I think about him when I should be sleeping.>
"Hey". Liquid brown eyes blinking at him. Facing each other knees touching.
< I smile feeling that sinking thing in my gut.>
"Keep doing that please. I'm going to have Bartlet declare your smile a national treasure."
"Josh..." kissing him softly.
"Don't try to change the subject. Your beauty is the topic of many an office conversation."
"Oh like you don't know what they say about you." He's smirking at me. I love the quirk of his mouth. His mouth.
"No Josh tell me what they say about me."
<I'm so at peace right now.>
"That intern probably started with you because you made her hot. She heard through the grapevine that if you argue with Sam Seaborn he'll get a stiffie and want to sleep with you."
Josh turns on his side and props his head up with the pillow. "Admit it. She turned you on. Nothing gets your gonads hotter than a woman taking you to task. Case in point Mallory..enuff said". He flopped over on to his back with an I've conquered Rome smile on his face.
I look over at my lover as if he has finally lost his mind.
"Woman? Josh you didn't see her. All I have to say is the very thought of having carnal relations with that...that girl makes me want to bathe and turn myself into the proper authorities." Does he really think I'm that icky. Of course he doesn't. Right?
He chuckles at me "All that knowledge and earnest righteousness packaged with firm nineteen year old breasts. I don't know Sam if you don't do her I just may have to."
I'm sure the loud thud of Josh hitting the floor next to the bed woke up my downstairs neighbor.
He looks up at me with this phony look of shock and bewilderment.
"You deserved it." I can't help but laugh. God,happiness is not overrated.
"You know what...I did." He climbs back up into my, our, bed and takes me into his arms. He rubs my head just the way I like it. It's time.I never thought it was going to happen. Not with a man. Not with this man. My best friend. It never happened with Lisa either. I think I'm ready even though my heart is beating like a hummingbird's. I sit up trying to breathe.
I turn to him and just stare. I'm right. It's time.
"You know I love you right?"
"Uh oh, this can't be good. People say that to you in bed right before they tell you to get lost." He's starting to freak out. I love that about Josh. He overreacts and it looks cute on him.
"Relax Josh. There's...I want you to know how much I love you."
He sits up "Sam,you're not going to have something pierced or tattooed are you?"
I laugh "No. Although I've heard a Prince Albert piercing can be pleasureable after it heals..."
He looks stricken. "Okay OUCH!"
I start to get out of bed. I have my back to him and start talking so I don't lose my nerve.
"You know how you hear a song and it touchs a certain part of you. You feel it so deeply that you can't really share it with anyone."
I turn and catch a glimpse of his face. He looks reassured. He's figured out where I'm going with this.
"Yeah I know what you mean."
"There is something I want to share with you. I've never...I have to find it."
He knows me so well. He trusts me. He sits in bed looking totally at home. I get the CD and put it in the player. I go back to him and he brings me to him. The tears are coming down my face already.
"Sam don't it's OK. I'm here. I love you." He pulls my face up to look into it. He gives me the best grin in his repertoire. You haven't even turned it on yet silly" He kisses my cheek and starts to wipe my tears away.
"No you don't understand. I'm not upset." I smile to show him I'm OK.
"I always cry when I listen to this song. I'm OK. Really. I've had the same reaction since the first time I heard it. I use to cry because...I never thought I'd have anyone to share this with. Now I know that's not true."
He hugs me tight. "Yeah Ok. Who is it?"
"They are a duo called Tuck & Patti. Just his guitar and her voice. Just listen to the words Ok? The song's called Takes My Breath Away"
I start the player with the remote. The first few notes of the guitar plays and I bury my head in his chest. We listen song together.This song sings what my heart feels.
After I stop it I look up into his face. I can't read what's there.
"Wow". He lets go of me.
We look at each other. He wants to say something. I can see it but he's holding back. He's afraid.
I stroke his cheek. "Tell me".
"I died. I wasn't alive on that operating table. I had six people elbow deep in my chest. They stopped my heart." He swallowed hard trying to continue.
"All I remember thinking was I'll never see you again."
Through his recovery and the panic attacks, we've never admitted it. Josh had died. I still don't accept it.I can say the words butI can't get my brain to think of what they really mean. Not yet. Probably never. He knows that.
"Just stay with me . Don't die anymore OK? You're right. Stay away from Toby. He's part of the problem apparently. Toby needs to find himself a new wing man." I smile and hold his hands in mine.
His face lights up "Yeah no more of that dying stuff. It really sucks."
"Josh" I move closer "you take my breath away." I started to nuzzle my favorite spot on his neck.
"I bet you say that to all the interns from the GAO" as he kisses me.
I think the downstairs neighbors are going to want to talk to me tomorrow about the two big thuds last night.
Here are the lyrics to one of the best love songs ever written. Visit the Tuck & Patti website for more information about the wondeful twosome www.tuckandpatti.com:
Takes My Breath Away (Claire Hamill)
Sometimes it amazes me, how strong the power of love can be, and sometimes you just take my breath away. You've watched my love grow like a child, sometimes gentle and sometimes wild, and sometimes you just take my breath away.
Chorus: It's too good to slip by, it's too good to lose, too good to be there just to use. Gonna stand on a mountain top and tell the news, that you take my breath away.
Your beauty is there in all I see, and when I feel your eyes on me, ooh don't you know you just take my breath away. My life is yours, my heart will be, singing for you eternally, oh don't you know you just take my breath away.
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