Title: Sunday, Grocery Day
Archive: My "Storage Closet" - http://hanasyoubu.tripod.com/ List archives, please.
Disclaimers: Not mine. Borrowed them when Sorkin wasn't looking.
Summary: Guess what, our boys go grocery shopping.
Feedback: Please do. Let me know what you think of it. Comments of all types are welcome and craved. Note: Silliness abound, beware. Not beta-ed. All mistakes are mine. Got stuck on a couple of depressing Sam-fics and the valentine J/S fic, and this one pops up. (Writer?s block the size of Caradhras...)
Frodoette ? I?m still working on it. Got the scene figured out, but still have to sit down and figure the language out.
For Frodoette, Kathi and Velvet. Just because. :)
Sunday, Grocery Day by Hana
"Let see. We've got juice, fruits, toilet paper-"
"Are we done yet?" Weekend grocery shopping. Not exactly Josh's favourite time of the week. "Hey Sam! Let's get Chee-tos. Look, it's 'buy three get one free'."
"We've already got popcorns, pretzels and Pringles, Josh."
"It's a good deal."
"The discount only applies to the extra large 550g packages. What do you want to do with five pounds of Chee-tos?"
"Well, first thing, we can eat them."
"I don't even like Chee-tos all that much. And you're going to eat them for breakfasts and dinners."
"What's wrong with that? I happened to like the cheesy taste, and they are very filling."
"Look at the nutritional information on the bag. About one seventh of each serving is saturated fat, Josh."
"Butter is saturated fat too. You like butter."
"Butter is natural, and I don't eat butter by the pound."
"It's still saturated, like Chee-tos."
"Fine." Josh turns away and mutters. "I know it's a mistake to make nutritional information labels mandatory."
"I'm sorry, did you say something?" Sam looks up from his engrossing examination of the nutrition labels on the items in their cart.
"Nothing. Are we done yet?"
"Hmm. Let's see." Sam takes a look at his list and answers. "We still need Listerine. It's the last thing on the list."
"Damn." Josh swears under his breath. He remembers crossing out that particular item from the list this morning. "I thought we still have some left."
"No. We're out. I'm pretty sure."
"Let's get Listermint instead."
"How about Scope? I like Scope's taste."
"Look, Scope's on sale!"
"It tastes like bleach."
"It's good for your gum as well as your teeth."
"So does Scope!"
"Not as well as Listerine."
"How do you know? You have probably never tried Scope."
"I read about it in The Consumer Reports."
"They have Consumer Reports on mouthwashes? And you read them?"
"Mouthwash is an integrated part of your dental hygiene, just as flossing and brushing." Sam replies with a conviction and keenness that only he possesses on such matters. "We are getting Listerine."
"But it tastes like bleach!"
"I know it burns a little, but it kills all the gems in your mouth. See, your teeth are your best friends-"
"Take care of them and they'll take care of you. I know that, Sam. In fact, I have it memorized."
"No. There is no way that I'm going to raise my mouth with that. I refuse to do it."
"See, its content is largely alcohol. So if you could just pretend that it's beer - "
"Not unless I'm as drunk as that time when you and I - "
"You get to pick the favour." Sam interrupts him with a nervous smile to a passer-by.
"They all taste like bleach. One's as good as any to kill my taste butts."
"Come on, Josh."
"How about this," Sam glances around, then leans close and whispers quickly into Josh's ear. "I'll let you kiss me every time you use it."
"We kiss anyway."
"For as long as you want."
"Anytime of the day I want."
"In any way I want."
"Anywhere on you."
"You're pushing it."
"I could always stop the whole brushing-your-teeth routine altogether, you know."
"Fine. It's a deal." Sam lets out a long-suffering sigh. "Now take your pick."
"Good choice. My favourite."
~ Finis ~
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