Title: Somebody Pick Up My Pieces
Author: Python
Email: flairswench@hotmail.com
Keywords: Jed/Toby
Rating: R
Content: slash, angst
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters. They belong to Aaron Sorkin. The song "Somebody Pick Up My Pieces" is by Willie Nelson and used w/o permission. Please don't sue me.
Distribution: nowhere yet, just ask
Summary: Another in the string of Jed's thoughts and sequel to "Perfect", "Wake Up", "Ironic" and "Standing Outside the Fire" and companion to "Help!"

Somebody Pick Up My Pieces by Python


SOMEBODY PICK UP MY PIECES:
SOMBODY PICK UP MY PIECES
I'M SCATTERED EVERYWHERE
AND PUT ME BACK TOGETHER
AND PUT ME WAY OVER THERE
TAKE ME OUT OF CONTENTION
I SURRENDER MY CROWN
SO SOMEBODY PICK UP MY PIECES
IT'S JUST ME COMIN' DOWN


I woke up the next morning and Abbey was gone. I knew where she went and hoped that she didn't end up killing anyone. I sat there, gathering up enough courage to face another day. Usually I felt good in the mornings but that day was different. I tried to prepare for the public reaction to my disease and anything else that could pop up. It seemed like a new crisis appeared every day.

I couldn't think about Toby. There was so much else to do. At least that's what I told myself.

Showering helped me feel a little better. I didn't feel much like eating and decided to go straight to work.

Leo was waiting for me in the oval office.

"Mr. President."

I nodded, "Good morning Leo." I glanced over at him and could tell that something was wrong, "What is it?"

"It's not playing well in the media."

He just had to bring up the MS the first thing in the morning. "We didn't think it would," I answered.

"They're going to be starting the investigation soon."

"We knew that to," I said. I looked at Leo again and for once, I couldn't read his face, "Is there something else?"


WELL, I SURE THOUGHT I HAD HER
LORD, I KNOW SHE HAD ME
WHAT I THOUGHT WAS HEAVEN
IS JUST FALLING DEBRIS
WELL, I MAY NOT BE CRAZY
BUT I GOT ONE HELL OF A START
SOMEBODY PICK UP MY PIECES
I THINK I'M FALLIN' APART


Leo wouldn't meet my eyes and it looked like he was debating on what to say to me. Then he shook his head, "No sir."

I didn't quite believe him but knew there was no way of getting something out of him that he didn't want to share, "All right Leo." I watched him leave and then sat down to tackle the mountain of papers in front of me.

I got lost in work and was able to forget about my personal problems. I still had a country to run.

I didn't notice Abbey come in until she cleared her throat. I looked up, "Hey."

"Hey. How's it coming?"

"Slow. If it's not one thing, it's another," I answered.

"And you love it," she said, smiling.

"I don't deny that."

"I saw the news today."

I took my glasses off and rubbed my eyes, "Did you? I'm sure they had a lot to say." One of the reasons I buried myself in work was so that I wouldn't have to watch the news. It was probably a mistake but Leo would tell me everything I needed to know.

"Oh they did but I'll let Leo fill you in," she answered. I smiled. Again she knew what I would do.

"And I'm sure they'll have a lot more to say in the future."

"I went over to CJ's this morning."

"I figured that's where you went," I answered, fighting the emotions rising inside of me. I couldn't let this make me any more crazy. I wasn't sure if I could handle it.


DON'T FOLLOW MY FOOTSTEPS
STEP OVER MY TRAIL
THE ROAD IS TOO NARROW
AND YOUR FOOTING COULD FAIL
AND THE FALL TO THE BOTTOM
COULD TEAR YOU APART
AND THEY'LL BE PICKIN' UP PIECES
OF YOU AND YOUR HEART


"Toby was still there."

"No wonder he was late this morning," I said, trying to lighten the atmosphere a little.

Abbey smiled. She knew what I was trying to do but was going to talk about this whether I wanted to or not. Then there was a knock at the door and Leo stepped in. Abbey greeted him and then said, "Leo could you give us a couple more minutes. I have to talk to him."

"But..."

"Go ahead Leo. We're almost finished," I said. Leo shrugged and left.

I didn't have any time to think about what Leo could've wanted because she began talking again, "Toby's just as confused as you are. I think last night just scared him. I don't think he expected you to respond the way you did."

"No kidding."

"Shh," she said, "And I asked him what he meant to do."

"And?" I asked. If she could tell me, that would have made my life a little easier.


DON'T FOLLOW MY FOOTSTEPS
STEP OVER MY TRAIL
THE ROAD IS TOO NARROW
AND YOUR FOOTING COULD FAIL
AND THE FALL TO THE BOTTOM
COULD TEAR YOU APART
AND THEY'LL BE PICKIN' UP PIECES
OF YOU AND YOUR HEART


"He didn't know."

I nodded. Why would he know? I still didn't know how to react to this either.

"What about you?" Abbey asked.

"Huh?"

"How do you feel?"

"I don't know Abbey. I don't know if we can do this. It might be better to forget the whole thing," I said.

"You don't want to do that," she answered.

"I didn't say I wanted to. But how could a relationship possibly work out? It could destroy us both. I've just told the people that I have MS. It's gonna be tough for some of them to trust me again. What would happen if I start a relationship with Toby and it got out?" I didn't like saying all of that but I couldn't ignore the potential problems.


AND THEY'LL BE PICKIN' UP PIECES OF YOUR HEART


"I've never known you to back down," Abbey stated.

"I'm not backing down," I answered. I knew there was an edge in my voice but couldn't help it. I took a deep breath, "Look. There's not much I can do about it right now. There are too many other things I have to do right now."

"Ok," she said, nodding, "We'll just see what happens." Then she kissed my forehead, gave me a smile, and left.

I leaned back and unclenched my hands. I hadn't even realized they were clenched. I put my head back and tried to clear my mind.

Mrs. L came in and told me Toby was here to see me.

I sat up straight, "All right. Send him in."

Toby came in and nodded to me, "Mr. President."

"Toby. Have a seat."

"Thank you sir," he answered, sitting.

"What can I do for you today?" I asked, trying to maintain some kind of normal conversation.

"It's about the next speech."

I sighed. It was about work. Work I could handle. I wasn't sure if I was happy about that or not but I wasn't gonna let myself dwell on it. I was getting good at telling myself things, hoping they'd turn out to be true.

 

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