Author: Reagan (moniker11@bigfoot.com)
Title: Sleep - Perchance to Dream
Summary: It's Sunday and he'd been here entirely to long for what was supposed to be a day of rest.
Category: Slash/Post Ep (War Crimes)
Spoilers: 3rd Season through War Crimes, Bartlet For America
Warnings: Adult Language, Sexual Situations, Slash
Rating: NC-17
Archive: Sure just let me know, will be on Greens & Blues also.
Author's Notes: This is my epic Leo/Hoynes fic (really it's only 6900 words, but hey, it took forever and feels epic!). I've never written slash before so keep that in mind. This screams out sequel but I don't know if I'm going to write one. Cause if I do I'll get sucked into writing a series and I so don't want to go there. Be forewarned. Obviously it deals with men having sex, if this isn't your cup of tea please leave. If you read it and get pissed off it's not my fault. It's been spell checked but not beta'd because I didn't want someone to tell me I had to change it.
Feedback: Is almost as good as these two. This is my first slash story and I need you to tell me what you honestly think.
Disclaimers: Not that this does any good, but they're not mine. They belong to Aaron Sorkin, and NBC. No infringement intended and definitely no profit being made. I also barrowed the title from the Great Bard, it's from Shakespeare's Hamlet, To Be or Not to Be soliloquy, Act III Scene I.


Sleep - Perchance to Dream by Reagan

It wasn't late. Really 8:00pm isn't late, except for the fact that it's Sunday and he'd been here entirely to long for what was supposed to be a day of rest.

Leo had no idea how long he sat in his office since Alan had left. He wondered how the world kept spinning when his life had seemed to stop. Some impulse deep inside said go, and talk to someone before he did something monumentally stupid, like stop at a liquor store on the way home. He thought about Jed, but didn't want to disturb his friends, who for the first time in months seemed to be actually talking to one another rather than at one another. He didn't have a lot of other great choices so he found himself walking through the tunnel to the OEOB before he could change his mind.

The reception area was quiet when he finally arrived at the Vice President's office. He seemed to lose the momentum for this choice but the agent at the door nodded his head.

"Mr. McGarry? Are you okay sir?" The agent had never seen the Chief of Staff so pale before. He wondered if it was the lighting, but didn't think so.

Leo blinked out of his haze, really looking at the Secret Service man for the first time. He almost turned around to go, but knew that if he didn't talk to someone he'd implode. "Uh...yeah. I'm fine. Uh..does...does he have a minute?"

Years of training kept the young man from reacting. Mr. McGarry clearly appeared shaken. "I believe so sir, let me check."

With that the man turned sharply on his heel, knocking on the office door behind him. A call, "Come," could be heard on the other side.

Sticking his head in the door, "Sir, Mr. McGarry is here to see you."

That brought John Hoynes up short, jerking his head from the papers strewn across his desk. Obviously surprised, "Leo's here to see me? Did he say what about?"

"No sir, but I think it's important." The agent added.

Puzzled but curious, Hoynes nodded. Instructing, "Send him in Peter, thanks."

"Yes sir." The guard turned back around, leaving the door partially open. "He'll see you now Mr. McGarry." He gestured into the office, as he stood aside holding open the door.

Leo tried to physically pull himself together before stepping over the threshold to the Vice President's Office. No less opulent than it's more famous cousin across the street this office did not convey the deep sense of history or importance, but Leo could have cared less at that moment.

The older man wasn't more than three feet across the rom before Hoynes rose from behind his desk to step toward the Chief of Staff. "John, thanks for seeing me."

John Hoynes was alarmed. He and Leo usually called one another by their first names but rarely from the first sentence. They almost always stood on formalities, until the argument about whatever had started, and they could call each other down by their given names. He also had never seen Leo this deathly pale or emotionally distraught. The smaller man appeared to be physically carrying whatever burden brought him here. Grabbing the man's outstretched hand more out of reflex than politeness, John also grabbed his elbow leading Leo to a nearby couch. "Are you okay Leo? You look terrible."

"Thanks." The smirk died on his lips and the dry comeback wouldn't convince anyone that the assessment was inaccurate.

"No really Leo, you're pale as a sheet. What happened?" Genuine concerned shined through in his tone. They certainly weren't best friends and disagreed more often than not but Leo was unshakable, or so Hoynes had believed. Even after Rossyln he didn't appear this frazzled. Whatever happened was serious, causing Hoynes himself to be deeply worried.

"I..." Leo closed his eyes trying to shore up his resolve. This was a mistake. "I'm sorry to have disturbed you. I should go." He rose from the couch, but before he could turn Hoynes had a solid grip on his biceps.

"No Leo, you shouldn't. Something happened and you came to me. I'm not letting you leave here until you tell me." It was a firm command, but it was John's eyes that made McGarry sit back down. There was honest concern and a sincere desire to help burning therein.

Leo looked around the office debating whether this was the proper place for this discussion. He couldn't look at Hoynes as he spoke. "I don't...I don't know if this is a good idea."

"If I let you out of here, can you promise me you won't go drink tonight?"

Leo's eyes's widened. He brought his head up at the Vice President's intuitiveness. "I..."

He never got the chance to finish the sentence because Hoynes was pulling him up off the couch. "That's what I thought. Come on let's go."

Confused, "What?"

"You need to talk." Shrugging as he waved an arm around his office, "But not here. So let's go back to the Observatory, where I know we won't be disturbed or have to worry about someone overhearing." He practically pushed Leo out the doorway, placing a firm hand on the back of his neck, guiding them along the corridor to the portico. "Peter, we're out of here. Leo and I are going to have dinner at home. Will you contact the chef and have him put something out for us?"

"Baron is moving." Peter whispered into his hand held microphone. "Yes sir, I'll take care of it."

Hoynes nodded. "Thanks."

The two men were silent the entire ride back to the Naval Observatory, traditional home to the Vice President of the United States. They were almost awkward with each other as they emerged from the limo. Hoynes guided them directly to his sitting room upstairs. "Peter, unless we're at war no one is to disturb us."

"Yes sir." He nodded closing the door to stand guard on the other side.

The sitting room was comfortably large with oversized couches and chairs. Along the far wall was a small dining table, normally strewn with papers, but tonight it had the dinner the Vice President had ordered for the two of them.

Directing them to the table, Hoynes continued to issue orders. "Sit down. You look like you could use a good meal. We'll eat then you can explain about whatever brought you to my door."

It was mostly small talk over dinner. Leo picked at his meal until Hoynes glared him into submission. John deliberately kept the conversation light, afraid of ruining Leo's fragile appetite. Margaret's struggles to force Leo to stop and eat were the epic battles of legend. Everyone knew the man was thin, almost to the side of gaunt, and John wanted to make sure he at least filled his stomach if not his resolve to fight the voice within.

When McGarry finally pushed his plate aside Hoynes knew it was time to confront whatever was haunting the man across from him.

After dinner they settled on a couch and sitting chair respectively. "John I..." Leo didn't know how to begin or really whether he wanted to talk about this, with this man.

Putting his hand out to stop the excuse he knew was coming, Hoynes interrupted. "Look Leo, what's said here stays here. Right now I'm not the Vice President and you're not the Chief of Staff. We're just John and Leo, two alcoholics trying to remain sober for another day. If you don't want to think of it as altruism, then think of me as your sponsor. I count on you and the others at the card game to keep me accountable. If you fall off the wagon then that's one less person I can count on myself. I want to help, but you've got to talk to me."

Leo swallowed, pinching the bridge of his nose. Praying that he made a smart decision the words started pouring out. "You know Alan Adamly?"

Hoynes thought for a moment to place the name. "The Air Force General?"

"Yeah. We served together in Vietnam." He paused for a second, "He came to see me today about the UN Resolution for an International Tribunal on War Crimes."

"The military's pretty dead set against that aren't they?" John asked, still not sure where this was headed.

"To say the least: Fitzwallace, the Pentagon, House and Senate Foreign Relations and Armed Services Committees to name a few. Anyway, while he was making their case he told me...Do you know about Operation Rolling Thunder?" Leo asked changing tracks mid-stride.

John still didn't know what the hell was going on but he didn't want to push Leo to hard. "Vaguely."

Quietly introspective, "In September 1966 I was flying an F-105 Fighter Chief as part of the 355th Tactical Fighter Squadron out of Thailand. Our mission that day was to destroy a bridge. It was a simple job, just follow the directions Alan gave me as Forward Air Command, cross the target and drop the load." Anguished Leo pulled his head up to gaze directly at John. He wanted to see when the light clicked on. "It wasn't a military target like I was told. It was a civilian controlled dam used to regulate the flow of the river, there were eleven casualties."

The younger man felt his mouth go dry as he heard those last few words. He could almost physically feel the pain radiate from the man seated next to him. John had been part of the Navy, he understood the difference between military versus civilian targets. It's one thing to kill a man with a gun who's fighting on a different side than you. It's another to murder innocent civilians who are just trying to live their lives. He couldn't believe General Adamly would do such a thing. They'd been friends at one time at least. Why would you say something like that thirty years later to your friend? "Why? Why did he tell you that?"

The bark of caustic laughter made Hoynes flinch. With acid dripping from every word. "That's what I asked him. I murdered eleven people. Under this resolution I could be charged with a War Crime, the indiscriminate slaughter of innocent civilians. All wars are crimes he told me." Squeezing these raw words past his throat. "I'm no better than those bastards who shot at us in Rosslyn. They justified their behavior under the ludicrous notion that white people are superior to black people. I murdered eleven people under the guise of serving my country, by waving a flag and wearing a uniform." He paused again, but before John could interject, Leo's diatribe of venom continued. "Like some poor family crossing a dam in a third world country on the other side of the globe, was a threat to our national security. Was it a husband and wife? Were they kids? How many other targets did I blow up thinking they were military when in all actuality they were civilian?"

Hoynes decided to intervene, before he further crucified himself. "Whoa Leo, stop. Don't. Don't beat yourself up over something that happened thirty years ago that you can't change. He had no right to emotionally blackmail you like this in order to get the President to vote on his side. It was a war Leo and unfortunately innocent people get in the way. You think that every time we blow up a military target there aren't civilians in the area? Come on, there's almost always auxiliary personnel present. People who don't carry guns, just trying to do their jobs in order to feed their families. Don't beat yourself up over this. He was right, wars are crimes. That's why they're bad. That's why they're not worth fighting over land, power, or natural resources. They're also not worth crawling back into the bottle."

Leo was a miasma of energy, fury, and self-directed hatred. "You think saying all that bullshit makes a difference? These meaningless cliches you're throwing out at me really matter, when I close my eyes at night and see villages burning and kids dying. Don't give me that shit John."

Angry himself, "So what are you going to do? You going to go drown in a bottle of scotch tonight? Is that going to somehow make everything better. Is that going to change what happened thirty-five years ago? You came here tonight because you didn't want to do that. Who's bullshitting whom?"

"Dammit John don't you understand? Adamly knows. Who else knows? What if some reporter or some blood thirsty Republican gets a hold of this mission file? The MS scandal isn't enough? Do you have any idea how difficult it was to stand behind a podium and tell the whole goddamn world that I'm an alcoholic and drug addict? I can just picture this press briefing. Like there haven't been enough fuckups in my life I need to keep adding to the list. I survived because my best friend wouldn't let me quit. I can't survive this and do his administration any good. I've worked my whole life to get to this point, to get him to this point. I damned near killed myself, destroyed my marriage, and alienated my daughter for most of her life and everything is going to slip away because of this? Because I was a naive kid who thought the Air Force would be cool, not realizing that blowing up people would haunt me for the rest of my life."

Leo couldn't remain still any longer, rising out of the couch to stalk the length of the room like a caged animal. "Jesus John, eleven people are dead, because somebody else told me that dam had to be blown up. And I'd give anything to be able to close my eyes tonight, or the next time I'm able to stomach going to bed, to not wake up screaming in the middle of the night as I watch myself murder eleven people. It took me years to be able to sleep consecutive nights without nightmares."

McGarry stopped along the end of the room, backing into the wall almost physically cowering in on himself. He took a shaky breath, running his hand across his face before looking back up at a visibly worried Hoynes. "I can't do this John. I can't feel like that again."

John Hoynes rose slowly from the couch moving in what he hoped was a suppliant manner towards McGarry. Arms out in front of him approaching like he would to assist a wounded animal. John idly wondered if this was how Leo appeared when he was drying out or how he used to look when desperate for another glass of scotch. When he finally reached Leo, John placed a firm hand on his shoulder pulling Leo out of himself. "Look at me Leo. Take a deep breath and hold it." McGarry grudgingly did as instructed to pacify the obviously worried man in front of him. "Let it out slowly. Now do it again." Two more times and Leo seemed to step away from the edge he was teetering on. "You're not going to have an anxiety attack on me now are you?" Hoynes smiled hoping to lighten the serious atmosphere.

Shaking his head ruefully at his own abnormal behavior Leo smirked, "No, I'm not going to hyperventilate."

"Good. Leo, you can't let what happened thirty-five years ago effect you like this. There's nothing you can do or say or even feel that will change what happened. All you're doing is torturing yourself for no purpose." John's even tones melted into anger as he continued. "That...that manipulative bastard had no right to throw this at your feet to get the President to vote his way."

Reigning himself back in, "We can check into the records to make sure this one is sealed, but after all the digging the press has done into your past I doubt this will come out. They would have slandered you all over talk shows if they had this already. What's important isn't this file. It's how you react to it. If you go off the wagon because of this then you will have destroyed everything you've worked for."

McGarry stepped away from the wall, breaking the hold Hoynes had on him in order to pace again. "I don't want to do this, John. Be like this. Ya know I had to hit rock bottom before I finally admitted that I'm an alcoholic and needed help. I don't even know what prompted it. A bad day at work or something someone said but I went on a three day bender. I can remember snapshots of those days. Pictures of myself in different bars drinking, but most of it's a blur. Almost as though time didn't pass until I woke up face down in a parking lot in Concord, New Hampshire with no clue of where the hell I was or what had happened. I was still so fucked up I couldn't even manage to stand up on my own."

He looked at the other man who was mesmerized by the tale. "It was one of the few times in my life my drinking scared even me. I didn't know what to do so I pulled out my cell phone and called the one person who had never let me down. At three in the morning I rousted Jed Bartlet from a restless sleep to tell him I couldn't get up. He had been terrified, as had Margaret and Jenny. I had just disappeared two days before and nobody knew where to find me. I managed to drive four hundred miles without killing myself or others. Jed practically threw me into his car and we made our way to Manchester. I guess he knew he didn't want to have our confrontation at the Gubernatorial Mansion."

Leo stopped pacing caught up in his own memories. His voice was hushed with a gravely undercurrent that hinted at the emotions this brought up. "Between the coffee and sandwich he foisted on me I was almost completely sober by the time we arrived at the farm. It was still dark and the house was empty when he lit into my ass. I don't remember seeing him that angry before or since. I won't bore you with the litany of points he brought up cause even then I wasn't ready to admit I had a problem. My apathy just pissed him off further. Incensed he dragged me down the hall to the master bedroom, throwing open Abbey's closet door to reveal the floor length mirror."

His voice turned husky and his eyes suspiciously began to shine. "He told me to take a look at myself to see what I was doing, what a mess I was. I still didn't want to hear what he had to say. I started to walk out of the room till he physically jerked me back in. Jed's not a physical guy, but in that moment I think he would have knocked me out to prevent me from leaving. He told me I couldn't go on like that. I was killing myself and he couldn't stand by and watch it happen anymore. That he loved me too much to let me self-destruct. He turned my head back to the mirror, pointing at the reflection, to really look at myself. To see that I was killing his best friend. It didn't hit me until then, not till I saw a frightened, angry, despondent Jed Bartlet reflect back at me. He said I needed help, that my life, my drinking was out of control. I finally understood how bad things had become."

Taking a deep breath, "Eleven people. John I...nightmares have plagued me for years. They're the reason I started drinking in Vietnam. I can't go back to that. I don't know how to close my eyes tonight and not see a family die in flames that I created. It's not about willpower to resist or self-control. I just...I don't want to be like that again. Be that person, but I don't know if I can handle the nightmares again." For the first time since John Hoynes had known Leo McGarry, he saw a vulnerable man desperate for the ignorance of the previous thirty-five years. His eyes screamed for somebody to make all of this go away.

In that moment John made a decision and damn the consequences. Leo needed an anchor to this moment, the reality of the 2001, and not the jungles of Vietnam. Thus he was striding across the room like a predator, and before Leo could fully comprehend what exactly was going on, John had him back against the wall, his eyes burning into him. The Chief of Staff opened his mouth to protest the rough treatment but was unable to utter a word as Hoynes dove in plundering his mouth in a shattering kiss. Leo couldn't think of anything beyond the heat of John's mouth, the taste of the roast they had just eaten, and so much more that a small part of his brain idly wondered if it was uniquely John. He couldn't do anything but whimper as John's tongue swept along examining every crevice of his mouth, teeth, and gums before playing with his own tongue. He didn't even try to stop the younger man as he pulled back to nibble on his lower lip. Only the need for oxygen broke the torrid kiss, leaving Leo staring incredulously at the Vice President's beautiful smile.

Breathless himself, "I can't fix everything Leo, but I can make this night, this moment better. I can make everything else disappear. Let me."

McGarry couldn't think, only aware of the roaring in his ears and the thundering of his heart. Completely captivated by the intensity and commanding aura of the Vice President's incredible eyes begging him to say yes. He tried to say something, push the man away, to be the rational Chief of Staff he was supposed to be. But god help him he hadn't experienced passion like that in far to many years. He couldn't remember the last time Jenny had looked at him like that. That wanton and raw, primal urges radiating waves of heat, which triggered his own heat. He had to stop this before things got out of hand, before they made the biggest mistakes of their careers. "John..." The gravely whisper died when he saw the flash of pure lust in the younger man's eyes. Abbey Bartlet had once told him his voice could stop traffic. He had never believed her until now.

John Hoynes was clinging to the last vestiges of self-control. He had never understood how this man, whom he really wasn't even supposed to like, could turn him into a desperate, horny teenager. The few times he had seen him grin had sent his libido into overdrive. In that moment though, his eyes and god that voice was setting every nerve ending in John's body on fire. It was all he could do to stop himself from dropping to his knees and giving Leo the blow job of a lifetime. He wanted to hear Leo's voice call out his name in passion. Wanted to see those eyes encourage his ministrations, beg to be fucked. But he had to consent. John wouldn't, couldn't manipulate his fragile emotional state. Leo had to want this too.

"Leo." He started to say in an attempt to coax the older man into giving into his desires. John couldn't help it though, it was as involuntary as breathing. It was impossible to stop himself from bending down to kiss the shorter man. Hoynes grinned when Leo opened his own mouth as tongues wrestled for control of the kiss. They were so close, bodies touching. John moved his hand from the wall to caress Leo's cheek. Giving in for the moment he allowed Leo to explore and set the pace of their kiss. He had no idea what if any experience Leo had and was determined not to frighten the older man off by being too demanding. Again they had to break for oxygen, but this time John moved his lips to nip and kiss along the stubbled jaw toward his ear.

Leo knew he should put a stop to this, run out the door as fast as possible. But his feet wouldn't cooperate, instead he groaned as the Vice President of the United States licked his ear then blew on it. He didn't want to leave. "John are you sure?" The words croaked out causing a blush of embarrassment at how weak he sounded.

John managed to pull back smiling, happy and predatory all at the same time. "God yes." Moving in for the kill he dropped his own voice, "What do you want Leo? Tell me what you want me to do."

McGarry went from aroused to hard in the span of seconds. John Hoynes was not the type to want to fulfill the desires of others secondary to his own needs. The idea that this man would be willing to do that for him was a feeling that even a bottle of scotch couldn't match. "Bedroom."

That Cheshire grin was back as John grabbed Leo's belt loops pulling him to the far end of the room that connects to the private sleeping area. He was unwilling to look away from this wish come true.

Chuckling at John's antics, Leo grabbed his lapels pulling him in for another kiss. They stopped in the doorway for several moments before common sense returned and John broke away long enough to close and lock the doors behind them. Once that chore was done John advanced on his soon to be lover, forcing him back until his knees hit the bed. Laughing as Leo stumbled back, John tossed his blazer into a corner and began to uncuff his shirt sleeves. "What do you want Leo?" He asked again. John didn't even bother to completely unbutton his shirt just undoing the top two and pulling it over his head to be tossed on top of the discarded coat.

Leo began to respond when he stopped to stare at the now half naked man in front of him. While no body builder, John Hoynes was in good shape for a man his age with a light dusting of chest hair and another trail that lead from his navel to points south. Leo couldn't help but look at the obvious arousal bulging from the dress pants and he felt his mouth go dry at all the possibilities. John's smug grin in addition to a polite cough to refocus his attention, resulted in a furious blush and ducking his head.

Smirking with self-evident pride John questioned, "Do you like what you see?" Leo's face redned even further causing a bellow of laughter from his partner. "Jesus Leo, you're cute when you blush."

Aggravated at his body's betrayal Leo growled, "Shut up. I am not cute." The glare that accompanied his statement dared him to disagree.

John didn't list the other adjectives running through his brain, not wanting to get into a debate about whether or not Leo realized just how sexy he was. "Alright, if you say so, but you are over dressed."

Hoynes slipped off his shoes and socks while Leo fought with his tie, jacket and cuff links. John moved to drape his suit jacket over the nearby valet as the other man toed off his shoes. It went like that until both men were only in their boxers. Having been away far too long John crawled on the bed, straddling Leo as they began kissing once again.

Hands began to wander on both sides when John started to explore the exposed throat and shoulder blades before him. For fifty-something Hoynes marveled at just how damn good Leo McGarry looked. Still not knowing exactly what his lover wanted John decided to explore and see how many times he could get this man to emit noises of pleasure. He wanted him one quivering mass of need.

John reveled in the whimpers, groans and needful utterances of his name. Tugging on his nipple resulted in Leo bucking up underneath him with a gasp. John continued to play with his nipples as his hands moved lower to his thighs and butt. "John." Was the frustrated cry when the hands avoided his groin. Hoynes looked up grinning, "What do you want Leo?"

This was the ultimate power trip McGarry concluded. Jed could have the life and death decisions of the Oval Office because there was nothing better than giving directions to John Hoynes in bed. "God John I want...I want you to touch me." It was so difficult not to sound needy.

"Okay." Grinning, John moved down his body beginning to mouth Leo's penis through the blue silk of his boxers.

Leo almost bucked John off the bed. "Oh god...fuck John." It was so good and so not enough all at the same time. Hoynes grabbed his thighs to hold Leo in place all the while reveling in the sensations Leo's voice calling out his name created in his own groin. He continued to work Leo though the boxers determined not to go further until Leo begged.

"Christ John please." He pulled at the younger man's hair.

Perturbed at being stopped. "What? I thought this is what you wanted?"

Jerking on his hair until Leo was plundering his mouth, all lips and tongues, he didn't stop till the pout was gone. Breathing erratically, "Without the fucking boxers."

Hoynes smirk was so damn arrogant and possessive. Leo rolled his eyes. "Smug bastard."

John laughed until Leo bobbed free after the boxers were removed. He knew Leo was a good size from his exploring earlier, but actually seeing that weeping cock with it's bulging vein on the underside sent another shot of lust to his own groin.

Now it was Leo's time to tease, throwing the younger man's words back at him. "Do you like what you see?"

Choosing not to respond verbally John tongued his slit tasting the pre-cum. "Jesus John." Leo cried out from above.

He licked the underside from the base back to the tip, before gently nibbling the head. Working his way back down, he fondled Leo's balls in his right hand as his mouth grazed at the juncture where they met.

Leo grabbed the sheets trying not to thrash or scream at the incredible things Hoynes was doing to him. He couldn't even form a coherent sentence. "Shit...tease...don't."

Blowing on the moisture his tongue left, John needed to hear Leo say what he desired. "What do you want me to do Leo?" Voice silky smooth and erotic at the same time.

Leo was so close. It had been entirely to long since he had been this aroused and desperate. Teasing was going to be the death of him. "God dammit John. Fuck I...please." He couldn't believe that was him begging. His own voice sounding that needy and demanding. "I want...I want..." Taking a deep breath in order to calm down enough to articulate, "I want you to suck me."

"Yes sir." John's own voice reflected just how much he wanted to comply as he deep throated Leo the first time down.

McGarry arched up off the bed so hard John almost choked and did accidently bite him. "Oh holy hell." Leo's entire existence narrowed down to where John bobbed up and down on him sucking like a hoover. Less than a minute later Leo was jerking on John's hair trying to warn or stop him, he didn't know but John smacked his hand determined to receive his reward. A horse cry, "Oh god, John." was all Leo could manage as he came.

John accepted it all, waiting until Leo was soft and pliant in his mouth before pulling away. He kissed his way back up slowly giving Leo a couple of minutes to recover. Their kiss was gentle and warm but short with Leo still gasping for breath. "You...you didn't have to."

Smiling, "I wanted to taste you."

Leo felt his heart tumble. He had to be very careful because God help him, John Hoynes saying things like that and staring at him with undisguised lust could become his next addiction. Pushing those thoughts aside he pulled his lover back into a torrid kiss, tangling their tongues and biting his lower lip as they broke apart for air.

Hoynes tasted blood as he growled. "Fuck Leo, don't leave a mark."

Sheepishly, "Sorry. What can I do to make it up to you? Whaddya want John?"

This was every fantasy come true for John Hoynes who had lusted after this man for more time than even he wanted to acknowledge. There were so many choices. So many things he'd dreamed about. Just from what they had experienced so far John knew once would never be enough, but he had to decide what he wanted most right this minute. He groaned as Leo bit his shoulder blade then laved the sting with his tongue. He pulled back to stare into those blue eyes attempting to discern just what the older man was willing to do.

Leo could tell this was big and had an inkling of what John wanted although he was going to have to ask. "Whaddya want John?"

Licking his lips, silently sending up a prayer that his desire would be answered. "I want you Leo. I want to be inside you."

Remaining impassive Leo restated the question. "You wanna fuck me?"

John couldn't suppress the shudder that ran through him at hearing Leo's vulgar description. Amazingly enough he wanted it even more. "God yes. More than anything."

McGarry was silent for a minute debating whether he was willing to go there with this man. To give him that much of himself and control of their situation, whatever it may be. But god he wanted it. In dark places he didn't want to acknowledge the idea of John Hoynes fucking him senseless was the most erotic thing he'd imagined in thirty years.

Worried, John wanted to bite his tongue off rather than say these words, but he couldn't force him, "Leo? We don't...if you're not comfortable..."

He saw John's face fall and Leo found himself not wanting to disappoint him or in truth himself. He wanted this. Maybe even needed it. "You got stuff?"

John didn't think he heard right, astounded, "I...really?"

Leo laughed. Hoynes sounded like some horny seventeen year old boy who'd been given the keys to the rag top convertible with permission to take his girlfriend to lookout point. Grabbing John's head for another deep kiss with teeth and tongues lapping. He broke the kiss his hands holding the sides of his head. "Fuck me John."

John couldn't help his voice breaking. "Oh god Leo. Yes." Their tongues met before their mouths did. Swirling around one another before Leo sucked his in. He groaned when the tip ran along the underside as he scraped the top of Leo's mouth. Breaking away because John wanted to fuck him more than kiss him, he reached for the night stand drawer.

Leo began to roll over when John stopped him with a hand. "I wanna see you." Leo didn't say anything but his pleased grin and eyes conveyed more than words would have. He shifted back as John pulled out a condom and tube of lube from the drawer.

Hoynes placed a generous glob of lubricant on his finger. At first contact Leo tensed up. "Jesus that's cold."

Not wanting to mess this up he apologized. "Sorry." Leo was tight and tense. John made sure to go slow to try and loosen him up. "You've gotta relax or this will never work." Pumping the older man's cock to encourage the proper mood a few times seemed to do the trick. After a minute he added more lube and began to stretch the opening. Going deeper he searched for the prostrate to help the process.

Leo's cry, "John!" Shocked the Chief of Staff more than it did his partner.

He'd found the right spot and made a mental note to hit it again when he had two fingers working him. "Liked that huh?" John teased as he added a second finger scissoring them to loosen the muscle. He added a third finger and soon Leo was pushing in counterpoint to the thrusts.

Leo was almost erect again as John rolled the condom on his painfully hard shaft. He just hoped he could hold out long enough for both of them to enjoy. John threw his legs over his shoulders almost hoisting him halfway out of the bed as he poised at the opening. "You ready?"

Nodding, "Yeah, you?"

"God yes!" John was deliberately slow, even when all he wanted to do was ram himself in as hard as possible. Three thrusts with pauses to check if Leo was okay and his balls finally slapped up against Leo's ass. "Fuck you are so goddamn tight."

Leo took a deep breath trying to become accustomed to the rod buried so deeply within him. John began to pump his cock and when the pain melted into pleasure Leo pushed back. The strokes were short and slow at first to try and maintain his own control and not hurt his partner.

"Are you going to fuck me or...?" Leo let his sentence trail off as John got the idea, beginning to take longer and faster strokes.

Grunts, slapping flesh, and heavy breathing filled the air. Then John changed the angle, shifting Leo's hips and hit his prostrate. "Johnnnnn!"

He was so close. This was better than any fantasy. And there was no way in hell this would be the only time he ever fucked Leo McGarry. "Look at me Leo. Look at me fuck you. Do you feel that? God you feel so damn good." He was shaking, ramming into Leo with all he had.

McGarry grabbed the pillow his head was resting on trying to find more leverage to push back. His body was on fire, sweat pouring off him, on the verge of another orgasm. He kept his eyes open though. He was right, watching John Hoynes fuck him was the most erotic thing he'd experienced in way to long. "Fuck John...I'm almost...I....Johnnnn!" He shouted when the younger man began to spasm inside him.

"God Leo...I'm gonna...Leo!" His hips jerked on that one last thrust, but he pumped Leo till he could feel cum all over his hand.

Hoynes collapsed, half crushing McGarry, but since the other man didn't complain he remained there for the minute it took to catch his breath and the buzz to leave his head. Sitting back to relieve some of the pressure he asked, "You okay?"

Eyes closed concentrating on slowing his breathing and heart rate, he nodded. "Yeah. You?" Were about the only words he could utter.

Not very verbose or articulate either. "Uh huh. I'm going to pull out now, kay?"

Gripping the ends of the condom he carefully pulled out moaning despite himself at the loss of connection. He pulled the condom off scooting back to allow Leo room to stretch out once his legs were lying flat on the bed again. "I'll be back, stay here." John padded to the bathroom to dispose the used condom, clean himself up and use the facilities. He returned with a warm washcloth and towel to minister to Leo who had dozed off. Throwing the towels to the floor he pulled the covers from under Leo and crawled in bed next to him. When they made contact McGarry rolled over throwing his leg over John's and his arm over the other man's chest, using his shoulder as a pillow.

Grunting, Hoynes asked with some humor, "You comfortable?"

Leo replied more asleep than awake. "Good pillow. Saved my life."

John's voice caught in his throat at that whispered, half-conscious reply. He snuggled closer pulling Leo further onto him, unable to express all the emotions running through him at the moment. "Guess we're gonna talk in the morning, huh?"

The deep even breathing indicating sleep was his only reply. John Hoynes closed his eyes wondering if there was any way tomorrow could be as good as today.

The End

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