Rating: PG-13 for discussion of M/M relationship
Summary: The truth is sometimes harder to believe than a well crafted lie, unless you’re Josh
Disclaimer: Uh...lets see. Star Trek didn't belong to me. Highlander didn't belong to me. Sports Night...uh uh. Star Wars...unfortunately no. So...does that mean anything from the West Wing belongs to me either? Probably not. Well, somehow I found an idea for a sequel...so instead of studying...or working on one of the many other half finished fanfics that are sitting on my hard drive gathering virtual dust, I ended up writing another West Wing fic. Go figure...
And yes, as a proud Canadian, I have no clue about *anything* involving American politics. So besides the usual errors that my spellcheck didn't find, beware of serious plotholes. Course...if you were looking for a *plot* you should be watching the show instead of reading my ficlets... :)
Comments and feedback are always welcome...let me know what you think! And yes, I already know I need serious help! :) Addie's the same as always: firstname.lastname@example.org
And, like the show itself, we've got a *lot* of dialogue.
Improbable Lies by Keikimo
Blinking wearily, Josh glanced over at the clock on his bedside table. It was 11 in the morning, four hours after he had made it home and still only two hours after he actually fell asleep again. Trying to figure out what had woken him up, he became aware of a distant beeping noise, followed quickly by a sharp ringing from the phone directly beside his head. Startled, Josh winced as he managed to knock the contents of his bedside table to the floor, the phone included. Taking a deep breath, he finally managed to coordinate himself enough to pick up the receiver and get it to his ear. "Yeah...what?"
"Hello to you too. Isn't it a little late to still be in bed?"
"You know, when I took this job, no one told me I was going to have a curfew on Friday nights."
"You work in the *White House* Josh..."
"Yeah, but why is it that everything happens the night I decide to go out drinking?"
"Maybe it's a sign..."
"I mean, you can go out. Sam can go out. Toby, if he wanted to, could go out. And surprisingly, the next morning, nothing out of the ordinary happens." Josh paused, dropping his head back against the pillow. "I go out and the next day, Canada declares war..."
"Canada hasn't declared war yet, you'll be pleased to know."
"Good, I'm *so* thrilled..."
"It's funny you mentioned Sam though. You wouldn't happen to know where he is?"
"Why would I?"
"Because this morning at 6, he was here in the White House. So were you. And then at 7...for some inexplicable
reason, you *both* left. I know, I checked..."
"Wow, maybe you should be working for the Secret Service..."
"Don't jerk me around Josh. It's 11 in the morning on a Saturday and I'm standing in the Deputy Communications Director's office. I was supposed to get some file from him so I could write some response so I could get out of here sometime today." Pulling the phone away from his ear, Josh winced once again when he still managed to catch the rest of CJ's rant perfectly with the phone nearly a foot away. "Except I'm the only one standing here in this office!"
"Okay...and I'm *not* the Deputy Communications Director and I have no idea what you're talking about. So how the hell did I end up getting yelled at?"
"Because right now, I can't find Sam to beat the crap out of him..."
"And wherever he is, I'm sure he's incredibly happy to know that..."
"Look, CJ. What do you want me to do? I slept in the office last night, Sam found me when he came in this morning and helped me home. Which is exactly where *I've* been all morning."
"I dunno...did you page him?" Glancing over the side of his bed at the spilled contents of his bedside table, Josh wasn't surprised when he found two pagers lying on the floor. Picking them both up, he sighed, finally realizing what the hell had woken him up in the first place.
"Wow...you know Josh, I hadn't thought of that...because it was just so *obvious*!"
"Okay, okay. You don't have to get snippy..."
"Yes, I paged him, he's not answering. And before you ask, yes I tried his cell...which rang inside his bag on the desk...and he's not at home either."
"So you figured he'd be here?"
Josh dropped the pager on the bed and sat up, glancing quickly around the bedroom. Sam definitely *wasn't* there, but the jacket still lying on the chair and the pager beside him were pretty definite signs he was still in the apartment somewhere. "I can honestly say I have no clue where Sam is right now..."
"Josh, are you trying to be evasive?"
"Yeah...because I'm lying in bed with him right now and we didn't think we should let the Press Secretary know about our secret affair." Josh shrugged, finally deciding that CJ wasn't going to believe him anyways...and at least this way, maybe then she'd hang up and he could go back to sleep. "What do you think?"
"Alright, I get the picture..."
"Hey Josh, are you...?" Walking into the bedroom as he toweled off his hair, Sam started to ask a question, then abruptly let it die when he realized Josh was on the phone.
"Was that Sam?" Glaring at Sam who was now sheepishly trying to apologize silently, Josh tried to think of something to say. He couldn't tell from a mere three words if CJ was more surprised or ticked off, although he could quite honestly admit he didn't really want to know.
"Maybe...? Look, I was kidding before. It's not what..."
"You know what Josh? You don't really want to know what I'm thinking right now. Because right now...what I would like to do is currently illegal in this country. But trust me...if Sam doesn't get his ass in his office soon, I might just take my chances with the criminal justice system..."
"And don't think that just because I’m pissed off at Sam right now, you're off the hook. Because when I've finished ripping through Sam, I'd like to have a little chat with you as well."
"Yeah Josh, you. Because I’m almost positive *you* had something to do with the reason Sam isn’t here right now. And while *it* might not be what I think *it* is..."
"I’d like to find out *before* I hear about it Monday morning from the Press Corps..." CJ finished.
"There’s nothing to tell you..."
"You know I can tell when you’re lying to me, right?"
"I’m *not* lying."
"So you and Sam were in no way naked around each other at any point in time this morning?"
"No..." Josh said firmly, silently praying that for once, he might just be able to slip a lie past her.
"Fine. We’ll talk later. Right now, I’d *really* like to see Sam sometime before Monday morning..."
"Are you pissed off?"
"No Josh, I’ll let you know when I hit pissed off."
"Great, looking forward to it already." Hearing the other end of the phone slam down, Josh did the same, glaring over at his friend once again. "Excellent timing you have there Sam..."
"Sorry, I didn't hear the phone ring."
"Yeah, apparently you also didn't hear your pager." Tossing it towards Sam, Josh shrugged. "CJ's looking for you."
"It's only eleven..."
"I know, I'm quite aware of that fact right now. So is CJ."
"We agreed on *around noon*."
"Well apparently her definition of *around noon* is about an hour earlier than everyone else's."
"She thought I’d be *here*?"
"Yeah, apparently the idea of you being here isn’t as farfetched an idea as it probably should be."
"And she’s a little ticked off?"
"Let's just say she's a shade off of homicidal right now."
"Wonderful...are you coming to the office now too?" Sam asked, quickly slipping into the last of his discarded clothing. "Or am I going to have to deal with a slightly homicidal Press Secretary by myself?"
"Considering I probably smell like you and sex...on top of reeking of cheap beer, that would be a definite no on going in to work right at this moment..."
"Mainly cheap beer..." Pausing to collect the rest of his things, Sam stopped at the door to the bedroom and glanced wearily at Josh. "So CJ knows then?"
"I'm thinking that’s probably a yes..."
"At the time, I think she was more ticked off about me lying to her and about you *not* being in your office." Josh shrugged. "Give her some time though and she'll probably kill us for this too."
"Excellent. Well on the plus side...at least Canada hasn't declared war yet."
"Give them time...it's only eleven and I was out drinking last night. Anything can happen."
"Yeah..." Sam nodded, turning to walk out the door. He paused suddenly, turning back towards his friend who was now struggling to get up out of bed. On impulse, he walked back to the bed and kissed Josh soundly, then hurried out of the room. "See you in a few..."
"Yeah..." Josh echoed back to his friend's retreating back, shaking his head with amusement. "Anything can happen..."
End Improbable Lies
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