Title: Deal
Author: Dafna G.
Category: Parody

"Deal" by Dafna G.

"You know, I'm really getting tired of this," Jed said, folding his arms against his chest and leaning back in his chair.

Leo took his hand off the pawn he was thinking of moving and looked up.

"It's only the third move -- what are --"

"Not that." Jed dismissed the chess game in front of them with a wave of his hand and pointed to Leo's still damp hair. "That."

Leo stared at him, confused.

"You just had sex again, didn't you?"


"It's 3 o'clock in the afternoon, we're taking a nice chess break, and you're 20 minutes late because you had to take a shower after boffing one of the staffers in the Roosevelt Room. Again."

Leo's face colored.

"And let's not even discuss your breakfast meeting with Hoynes, or this morning's talks on the Hill with Sam or your domestic affairs briefing with Josh at lunch," Jed growled.

"Mr. President." Leo loosened his tie, cleared his throat and tried again. "Mr. President --"

"And I'm just saying, I'm really getting tired of this." Jed pouted. "I mean, where's my sex in the Roosevelt Room? Where are my inappropriate relationships with junior staffers?"

He stood up and looked in a mirror hanging on the wall. "Aren't I cute? We're the same age, for god's sake."

"I'm the leader of the free world, dammit. People should be lined up at the door waiting to have sex with me. But no," Jed glared down at Leo, "they always seem to get stuck in your office."

He sat back down. "Screening process, my aunt Fanny," Jed said with a huff.

"You get to have sex with me and Abbey," Leo pointed out, wondering if this was going to be much longer. He had a 4 o'clock with Danny in the Rose Garden.

"Oh, great," Jed said. "Two people I've been sleeping with since before the invention of space travel. Real thrill."

"And there was that one time with Toby."

"Toby? You get to have threesomes with CJ and Lord John Marbury and you're pawning me off on Toby? Anyway, Toby is just *you* 10 years ago and Jewish."

"I haven't slept with *everybody*," Leo said defensively.

"Name one person working for me unfamiliar with the McGarry moves."

"Well, um ... " Leo thought about it. Jed began tapping his fingers against the chair.


"Charlie? Charlie is all you can come up with? Well, great restraint there, my friend. I think sleeping with your lover's daughter's lover would be a little too Greek drama, even for you."

Leo sighed, wishing he could think of some way of getting out of this that wouldn't ultimately mean his 4th shower of the day. He was starting to get toe rot from the moldy shower tile.

"'Run for president,' you said, 'be a great leader,' you said." Jed glared at Leo again. "This was all just a ploy to get you some action, wasn't it?"

Leo looked innocently up at the ceiling.

Jed swallowed some Scotch. "OK," he said finally.

"OK, fine, go, have your sex," Jed said, still grumpy. "But next time, Leo, next time -- you run for office and I get the sex, OK?"

"Deal," said Leo.

-- Dafna G. (beruria@eskimo.com) http://www.geocities.com/beruriagreer/

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