Title : Crash and Burn
Author : Peta
Email: petacollins7878@hotmail.com
Spoilers: Not sure… first season maybe…
Rating: NC17
Pairing: Sam/Josh
Disclaimer: Aaron Sorkin created these characters. I don’t own them. Although sometimes I wish I did. <G> make no profit whatsoever from writing this fic.. etc…
Notes: This is my first slash story ever… <G> and my first West Wing (completed) story. That said, I hope you all enjoy. I’ve been lurking for a while and have been seduced by the wonderful writing on this list to write one myself. <G> I hope you all like it.
Feedback… pleased send me feedback. I love it.

Crash and Burn by Peta

Part One
Three days and he still hadn’t called. Three days since he had laid his
heart on the line. Three days and no word from him at all. Three days and he
was miserable. He never should have done it. It had been a foolish thing to
do. Especially since tomorrow he had to go back to work and face him. How
could he have been so foolish?
The reason came to Sam Seaborn as if taunting him about what he done. Sam
loved him, that’s why he had done it. And it explained a lot that he hadn’t
heard a word from him since. He stood alone in his apartment surrounded by a
stack of briefing reports that had to be looked at before tomorrow. Crossing
to the window and staring outside he crossed his arms protectively in front
of him. It was useless. He should’ve known that this weekend was going to be
a write off the minute it had happened. The briefing reports should have
remained in the office. He had barely focussed on them at all this weekend
and tomorrow when his boss Toby Ziegler asked for an update, he would have
to lie and say he had done more work then he had, because he could hardly
tell his boss that he hadn’t been able to concentrate all weekend because he
was in love with a man that didn’t return those feelings at all.
Josh Lyman. The name used to bring a smile to Sam’s face. Josh, Sam’s best
friend for over ten years now. Now the name only brought a twisted smile to
Sam’s face. The man Sam had realised he was in love with and had been since
the inauguration of one Josiah Bartlet. He lowered his head, closing his
eyes as he felt the sick feeling swamp over him again as he replayed the
scene in his mind. It had only taken a minute and it had been over the
friendship destroyed. Sam shuddered. How could he cope with this? He
couldn’t. He needed a drink. He could still hear the disbelieving laugh that
had sprung out of Josh when he told him that he was in love with him. Okay,
maybe it had been a shock to Josh, Sam could accept that, but to dismiss him
so coldly, to tell him that he was drunk and that Sam shouldn’t say anymore
lest he embarrass himself further. At that point Sam had thought it best to
get the hell out of there before anything else could be said. Pretending to
stumble into a few people as he made his way out of the bar and into the
street – he had to pretend to be drunk, even if he wasn’t. Sam sighed,
actually in hindsight, he had just been desperate to get out of there it
hadn’t been hard to stumble and stagger out of there. He had felt so lost
and alone and his mind had been whirling with the devastation of rejection.
His hands had been shaking so bad, that Sam had decided to leave the buttons
to his coat undone. Too Josh it must’ve looked like he was very drunk. But
he hadn’t had drink. He had been stone cold sober.
Moving back Sam sat down heavily on the sofa his head in his hands. How on
earth could he face Josh tomorrow? Sam sighed. No. He had to push his
feelings aside. So what if he loved Josh? So what if the sight of Josh
laughing made his heart skip a beat. His feelings weren’t returned. That
much was obvious. He needed to get past this. When tomorrow came he would
pretend that nothing had ever happened. He would just have to keep telling
himself, that he didn’t love Josh. It would become his mantra. He sighed
wistfully a lump forming in his throat. Now if only he could get his heart
to listen to his mind.
The briefing reports needed to be read and with new resolve Sam put himself
to work he had till tomorrow morning to get the reports read and some
summaries made for Toby, it would be done. He was Sam Seaborn after all, he
could do this, his heart felt like lead. But he had gone through worse and
survived. He worked for the President of the United States and he had a job
to do. People counted on him to be committed and ready to work tomorrow
morning. He could do this. No one was going to complain that Sam Seaborn
wasn’t dedicated to his job. Yes, indeed. Sam pulled his glasses out and
began to read, making notes as he read the articles. He pushed aside the
feelings of shame, sadness and hurt at the rejection and forced himself to
concentrate on his work. He didn’t have time for that right now.
Part Two:
"Jesus." Toby looked at Sam aghast. "What happened to you?"
Sam frowned at the comment then decided to ignore it. He didn’t think that
he had looked that bad in his brief glance in the mirror this morning. "I
was working on these briefing Toby, they just happened to take a bit longer
than you and I thought."
Toby Zeigler stared at him, raising his eyebrows in disbelief. "Sam, you
worked all weekend?"
Sam shrugged tiredly. Actually that wasn’t quite true. But who was he to
argue, he had been up all night working and had only slept for half an hour
when his alarm had gone off reminding him that he needed to be at the West
Wing by a certain time. "Yeah."
Toby took in the dark circles and untidy hair of his deputy and sighed.
"Okay. Are you ready for the meeting."
Sam’s eyes darted towards him before rolling sarcastically as he placed his
brief case on his desk. "Gee. I worked all night in preparation for the
meetings today Toby. What do you think?"
"I think that you need an hour’s sleep."
"I’m fine." Sam shot back, pulling out some of the files and flicking
through the contents, and then striding past Toby to head to Leo’s office
for the morning’s briefing.
"Have a cup of coffee, Sam." Toby urged as they walked.
"Who needs a cup of coffee?" CJ Cregg joined them moving down the corridor.
CJ turned glancing at the Deputy Director of Communications. "You look like
hell." She commented, following the two men into the Leo McGarrey’s office
the Chief of Staff of the White House.
"Well thank you for the sweet morning greeting there, CJ. Between the two of
you I am feeling so much better about myself." Sam drawled sardonically, his
voice thin with something the other two couldn’t quite define. "Maybe you
should join together and form some kind of support group. You could really
do wonders for a person’s self esteem…you’ve made me feel so much better
already." He ranted venting his feelings out on his two unsuspecting
colleagues he stared at the two of them disgust. He was completely unaware
of one Josh Lyman staring over at Sam with some surprise.
"Sam?" Leo’s voice interceded into comment that Toby had been about to make.
Sam swivelled realising for the first time that he was standing in Leo’s
office and that Josh was there staring at him open mouthed.
Sam swallowed hard, trying to ignore the startled thump that his heart did
upon seeing Josh. "Everything’s fine Leo." He muttered, trying to pull
himself together and looking away from Josh’s concerned gaze.
"You sure because.." Leo began quietly looking at Sam with something akin to
fatherly concern.
A brief smile came up on Sam’s face. "I just didn’t get much sleep this past
Leo’s eyebrows rose at the comment. "The briefings."
Sam nodded. "Something like that." He said studiously ignoring Josh. "But
there done, and I am ready for today."
Leo satisfied with the answer nodded. "Okay, Sam you can go."
"Josh the meeting with Senator…"
Leo’s voice followed Sam out into the hall and Sam paused for a moment to
get his bearings. He thought he had prepared himself for seeing Josh this
morning, but it had been hard. So hard to pretend nothing had changed.
Reaching his office he closed the door and leaned against it. He felt so
lost. Josh had always been a subconscious anchor for him in the work place.
Just a quick acidic comment from Josh would lighten the load for him
tremendously. And now, he felt due to one foolish mistake that he had lost
that. God. Sam shook his head resolutely. He was just tired. He could cope
with this. He could.. He should never have expected Josh to love him back,
not that way at least. If friendship was all that Josh offered, he would
just have to accept that. In the end it would have to be enough.
Part Three:
Josh watched Sam go stunned at the tiredness and weariness emanating from
his best friend. He can’t have been serious when he had said those things.
His forehead creased as he tried to pinpoint the night at the bar. Sam had
been drunk. Josh frowned nodding his head at the right moments while Leo
spoke giving the appearance of someone listening closely to the
conversation. Tapping his fingers on his legs, he tried to recall seeing Sam
actually drink that night at the bar. Oh to be sure, he had one or two
drinks before Sam had arrived. But Sam in love with him? Why? It had to be a
joke. It had to be. And what was making him wish that it wasn’t a joke?
"Josh?" Leo repeated again, waiting for Josh to pull himself from his
"Mmm?" Josh said looking up at the Chief of Staff. Leo waved at CJ and Toby
to leave the office and then sat down next to Josh. "Is there something
going on with you and Sam?"
"What!" Josh looked startled at the suggestion and then gave a small smile
at the nonsense expression on Leo’s face. "I don’t know."
"It just seemed like Sam, was avoiding looking at you Josh. He doesn’t have
a very good poker face."
Josh mused. "No he doesn’t-- does he…. I’ll see what’s wrong Leo."
Leo rose and patted Josh on the arm. "Good. See to it."
Josh nodded and then rose walking out and heading towards the communications
"Cathy is he in?" Josh inquired of the chirpy assistant to both Toby and
Cathy didn’t glance up from her typing. "Yes."
"Good." He grunted and then with a soft knock entered Sam’s office.
Sam sat at his desk staring unseeingly at his computer at the knock he
turned. His eyes widened slightly at his visitor before he gave a welcoming
smile. If Josh didn’t know Sam so well, he wouldn’t have been able to tell
that the smile was forced. But he did and he saw the pain that Sam was
trying to conceal from him. "Something I can help you with Josh?"
"Sam." Shutting the door behind him, Josh leaned against it. "Are we okay?"
Sam stared at Josh blankly for a moment, before answering. "Are we okay?" He
repeated as if weighing the words. Turning away from Josh and looking at his
work on the screen, he shrugged. "Why wouldn’t we be Josh?" He started to
type. "We are fine Josh-- you can go now."
Josh moved forward leaning on the desk beside Sam’s chair trapping him.
Sam whirled around in his chair rising and trying to move past Josh. He
needed to get away, the longer this conversation went on the harder it was
to maintain control. Unreasonably he felt furious that Josh had come here
like this. He had had three days to call him and talk to him. But no, Josh
had obviously thought this little problem would go away. "Look just drop it
okay. I don’t need pity right now. Back off and give me some space."
Josh’s hand clamped down hard on Sam’s right arm, holding him back. "You
_were_ serious."
The incredulousness in Josh’s voice made Sam lips curl wryly. Sam closed his
eyes, feeling Josh gently squeeze his arm as he waited for a response. "Was
I serious?" A twisted laugh escaped him and Josh winced at the sound. "God.
If you don’t know that, then you weren’t half the friend I thought you were.
Yes. I love you. But don’t worry I won’t embarrass you further by talking
about my feelings for you." Wrenching his arm free, Sam reached past him and
grabbed some files. "You made it very clear that you don’t feel the same
way." Pulling open the door he strode away from Josh.
"Sam.." But the Deputy Communications director paid him no heed, striding
out to where ever the hell he was escaping too. In the silence that followed
Josh felt his heart drop at the pain he had caused his best friend. Josh
lowered his head massaging his temple with one hand. "This is not good
Josh." He muttered. How could he have gotten it so wrong? Sam was in love
with him. It wasn’t a joke. It was for real. Josh felt a smile tug at his
lips. Sam loved him. Question was what was he going to do about it? Did he
love Sam? Josh considered that question for a long minute and then sighed.
He didn’t know how he felt. All he felt was confused. And right now, he
didn’t know what to do about it.
Part Four:
It was now 7pm and Sam was tired. Tired of talking to people who didn’t give
a damn about their work. He was tired of feeling like shit just because his
heart had been broken. He was tired because he had been awake for over 48
hours, but most of all he was just tired of avoiding Josh. It was amazing
how difficult and draining avoidance could be. He rubbed his eyes wearily as
he slumped down at his desk. God. Josh hadn’t believed he was serious. That
hurt. Maybe he hadn’t made himself clear. Or maybe it was a huge joke to
Josh. Sam shook his head at that thought Josh may make comments without
thinking but the talk with Josh this morning, had been that of a concerned
friend to his best friend. Josh had been worried about him. Sam pulled off
his glasses and put them on his desk. He just needed to close his eyes for a
minute. He was just so tired of being alone. Mallory had left him. Everyone
he loved always left him. Sam couldn’t understand it, was there some genetic
signature of his that repelled all the people he fell in love with?
Grabbing his coat he rose wearily from his chair. And made his way out into
the bullpen. Making the prerequisite goodbyes he made his way through the
security and walked towards his car. "Sam!"
Sam cursed, he had been so close to getting away from them all. "Sam!"
Sam pulled his coat closer to him and ignored the voice calling his name. He
knew it was Josh but right now he didn’t want to talk to him. He didn’t want
to see the pity on his face. Picking up his speed, he unlocked his car and
drove out of the car park.
Josh stood stock still watching Sam’s car disappear rapidly out of the car
park. It had been an awful day, truly awful. Josh had lost count of the
number of people who had approached him asking about Sam. Toby had cornered
him an hour earlier yelling at him. "I don’t know what you’ve done Josh.
But fix it."
Josh remembered the worry on Toby’s face and sighed he was worried as well.
Sam had looked progressively worse as the day had gone on. But then again it
was hard to tell the man had done a remarkable vanishing act anytime he got
within a few feet of him. All he wanted was to sit down and talk this
through with Sam. Maybe he could catch Sam at home.
Jingling the car keys in his hand he made his way over to his old car.
Back wheels spun out on the slippery road and the tires skidded. Sam
clenched the steering wheel, but it wasn’t responding. He held off on the
brake just trying to control the car as it twirled around in a three sixty.
His heart was thumping rapidly, and his whole body was shaking with the
surge of adrenalin. Wrenching the wheel right he finally managed to grab
control, and the car came to a stop inches from a light pole. Sam leaned
back in the seat and tried to quell the rising panic. Inches from the pole,
a moment later and the car would’ve impacted on the hard unforgiving
surface. Reaching forward he tried to turn the ignition off, and was bemused
by the trembling that was cascading through his body. Climbing out of his
car, he leaned shakily against it for support and moved round to sit on the
curb a hunched figure. What a perfect way to finish the day. On some level,
Sam was well aware that he was going into shock, but right now all he wanted
to do was to forget those horrifying moments as he felt the car spin and the
utter uselessness he had felt as he had tried to control the car. He had
never been so frightened.
Part five:
Josh paced in front of Sam’s apartment building. Sam had left before him
where the hell was he? Flipping out his cell phone he dialled Sam’s number.
"Come on pick up..." Reaching out and grabbing the rail Josh waited hoping
for Sam to answer. Nothing, just the voice mail box again. Hanging up. Josh
looked up and down the street. Where was he? Just when he was about to give
up he saw Sam’s car putter down the street. Josh let out a heart felt sigh
of relief. The cold air making it mist in front of him. Sam parked the car
in an odd jerky move and hopped out. Josh walked over to him. "There you
are. I was getting worried."
Sam barely glanced at him. "I…Josh this really isn’t a good time." Sam said,
running a hand through his hair.
Josh raised his eyebrows. "We need to talk Sam. You and I both know that."
Sam glanced at him then sighed. "Fine." He grabbed his suitcase and then
patted his pockets with is spare hand looking for his house keys. "Where are
my keys."
"In your hand." Josh commented, pointing at the keys that Sam still held.
Sam looked at him then at his hand nodded. "Right." He stared at them
bemused wondering how he could’ve forgotten he was holding them. "Right.."
Josh frowned at the distant tone. "Are you okay?"
"Fine." Sam muttered, trying to open the door and then fumbled with the
keys, he froze when he felt Josh’s hand cover his and take the keys from
him. Josh’s hand gripped him hard and Sam felt him move closer.
"Jesus. You’re shaking. Sam what’s going on here?" Sam didn’t answer still
looking down at the hand covering his. "Sam." It was a gentle tone enticing
him to respond. Sam shook his head. "Sam. Come on.. you’re scaring me."
"It’s nothing." Sam said finally, trying to push the early events from his
mind. But it was too late. His mind began to replaying it and Sam shuddered
he could feel himself sway and Josh grabbed him steadying him.
"Sam?" Josh asked startled.
"No I’m fine." Sam muttered shaking his head back and forth. He was fine. A
nagging voice told him that was a blatant lie, but who was he to listen to
reason at the moment. He was vaguely aware of Josh saying something but it
sounded so far away and all he could think was what if the car had
overturned. Would he be standing here right now, the car had not been
responding. He had come so close to slamming into that street light pole. A
few more spins of the tires and he would have crashed and been seriously
injured. He shivered. "I’m fine." He repeated again as if by saying it would
make it true.
"Sam?" Josh swore hurriedly feeling Sam beginning to sway again. "Let’s get
you inside okay." Josh wrapped arm around Sam’s waist, not liking the way
Sam was unresponsive. "Look you’re going into shock… I need you to help me
out here okay." Sam nodded mutely and Josh was relieved at the sign that
Sam was still with him somewhat. Manoeuvring them awkwardly into the hall,
Sam leaned into Josh’s embrace. "It’s okay, I’ve got you." Josh murmured,
trying to flick through the keys and find the one that opened the door to
Sam’s home. Finally, they were inside. Helping Sam over to the sofa he
eased Sam down onto the soft surface. Josh surveyed the apartment, looking
for the drinks cabinet. Grabbing a mug from the kitchen he poured a large
amount of Scotch into the heavy mug. He was a little disconcerted to see
that Sam had not moved from where he had been placed. Seating himself down
on the coffee table in front of Sam, Josh reached forward and wrapped Sam’s
too cold hand’s around the mug. Sam looked up at him confused. "Just take a
sip Sam."
Sam frowned as if trying to process that thought and then he gave a little
shrug. Helping him to raise the mug to his lips as the mug shook in his
grasp. Sam face twisted as he swallowed the liquid, jerking back he shook
his head. "Feel better?" Josh asked kindly. Sam nodded once then leaned back
in the sofa the mug now resting on his lap. Josh took it from placing it
beside him. "You want to tell me what that was all about?"
Sam suppressed a shiver. "I…." He wrapped an arm over his eyes.
"Sam. What ever is or isn’t between us right now. I need you to know that
I’m your friend and I care about you." Josh saw a slight smile pull at
Sam’s lips and he patted Sam’s leg affectionately. "Come on."
"I had an accident on the way home."
"What!" Josh swore, "Are you okay?" He stood striding over to stare down at
Sam’s car through the bay window. "Your car looks fine. Are you okay.. No…
what am I saying of course your not okay. What happened? Is anyone else
hurt?" He walked back sitting back down in front of Sam on the coffee table.
"How long ago was it? Sam…" Josh took a deep breath trying to regain control
of his runaway emotions. He couldn’t believe it he had nearly lost Sam
tonight and he would’ve never been able to tell him what he meant to him.
"Oh God." Josh muttered, rubbing his eyes.
"Josh?" Sam leant forward and touched his friend’s leg tentatively.
Josh’s head snapped up and he realised with a start just how close Sam was
to him. Sam’s blue eyes caught and ensnared him. "Sam…" Josh tried to push
past the lump in his throat, "Sam I could’ve lost you tonight."
Sam’s eyes closed and Josh reached wrapping a hand tenderly around the back
of Sam’s neck. "But you didn’t and I’m fine."
"No. You’re not fine. You’re still shaking." Josh retorted, stroking the
back of Sam’s neck.
Sam eyes snapped open at the caress. "Josh-"
Josh placed a finger on Sam’s lips. "Shhh.." He whispered. "I need to do
this." Sam’s blue eyes seem to darken and Josh caught his breath at the
sight. Leaning forward almost hesitantly he brushed his lips over Sam’s.
Gently at first, once twice three times, and then Sam responded. Josh felt
Sam’s hand’s come up framing his face. Josh groaned when he felt Sam open up
to him allowing him access. And then it was over. Sam was pulling away from
him and Josh’s eyes opened his hand still nestled at the back of Sam’s head
and the other on his thigh. Sam looked at him seriously his face wary.
Josh bit his lip. Catching Sam’s hands when they fell away from his face and
he would’ve moved away. "I’m sorry." Sam raised an eyebrow but said nothing.
"I’m sorry for being a jerk…." He shrugged helplessly. "I’m sorry for
everything. But I’m not sorry that just happened." He finished, watching the
surprise flash across Sam’s face. Sam ducked his head hiding his expression.
"You’re sorry?" Sam’s voice was low and even, despite the shaking Josh could
still feel coursing through the hands he held. "Josh are you for real?"
"Yes." Josh answered firmly, tugging at the hands trying to get Sam to look
at him. "I love you."
"As a friend." Sam answered.
"No." Josh corrected. "No, as so much more than just a friend."
Sam sighed heavily. "You didn’t call Josh. Three days and you didn’t call.
You thought I was kidding!" He yanked his hands away and stood moving away
from Josh to lean against his dinner table his arms crossed in front of him.
He needed to put a little distance between them. His mind was whirling with
everything that had happened. "How can I believe this right now? You just
change your mind like that?" He snapped his fingers together and Josh
"Yes." Josh ran his hands through his hair making it stick up at odd angles.
"Josh," Sam hesitated shaking his head. "I just can’t—" he swallowed hard
his body shuddering. "I mean my hands can’t stop shaking." He laughed
helplessly, his blue eyes darting about the room, he held out his hands
showing their shaking to Josh. "I’m not thinking clearly right now."
Josh crossed the room and put his hands on Sam’s shoulders. "My timing sucks
don’t it?"
Sam let out a small laugh that nearly turned into a sob. Josh’s heart
skipped a beat at the sight of his strong valiant Sam trying vainly to
maintain a semblance of control. He moved without thinking, wrapping his
arms around Sam and holding on when the dark haired man would’ve pulled
away. "I’m here…you’re all right." He whispered rubbing a hand up and down
Sam’s back. How long they stood there holding each other, Josh couldn’t say.
All he knew was that Sam was in his arms and at this moment nothing had ever
felt so right. He felt Sam’s arms encircled his waist and he tightened his
hold and just held on till he felt Sam’s trembling ease. Pulling back he
placed a chaste kiss on Sam’s forehead. "You okay?"
Sam met Josh’s level look with an embarrassed smile playing across his face.
"Yeah. Thanks." He said, an eyebrow quirking up when he realised that Josh
hadn’t let him go. Josh raised a hand delicately traced the out line of
Sam’s lips. Sam’s lips parted and Josh’s breath caught. His heart was
thumping rapidly and he was sure that Sam could feel it pounding.
"I love you." Josh said softly. Sam bit his lip and despite himself Josh
reached out rubbing his thumb across Sam’s warm lips. "I love you Sam. I
"Not just as a friend." Sam whispered, his blue eyes piercing Josh with
their intensity.
"No not just as a friend." Josh shrugged his other hands beginning to caress
the line of Sam’s back.
"Why now."
"Because I’m an idiot." Josh grinned.
"You’re not an idiot and you didn’t answer the question." Sam said, very
aware of the delicious sensations Josh’s hands were creating. He had to try
very hard not to arch into the touch.
"I was confused Sam. I didn’t realise what was right in front of me till you
showed me what life would be like without you." Josh looked away from Sam’s
all too knowing gaze.
"What would it be like?" Sam held his breath waiting for the response.
"Hell." Josh answered simply. "It would be hell. You’re my anchor at work
Sam and in here." He tapped Sam’s chest with his right hand. "I don’t know
when it happened, Sam but I love you." He met Sam’s gaze and he felt like
the breath was knocked out of him with the joy in that gaze.
Sam’s eyes glowed with happiness. "You love me." He said it with a child
like wonder that made Josh ponder why Sam doubted his ability to be loved.
"Yes." Josh laughed, "You know, it seems to me this declaration is a little
one sided…Since we’ve walked through the door I’ve said it like five times…"
Sam grinned. "Five times is a bit of stretch." He moaned when he felt Josh’s
hand playful scratch down his back. "I love you." He whispered, punctuating
the words with soft kisses on Josh’s mouth. Josh smiled at the words. "God.
I love you Josh." His tone ferverant and awed. Josh didn’t answer, pulling
Sam even closer; he began to show him how he felt.
Sam bit back a groan as he felt Josh massage the flesh of his buttocks. His
hands came up and caught Josh’s head pulling him away from the delicious
sensations that Josh’s mouth was making along his neck. Catching his lips
Sam teased him with his tongue. Josh could taste the strong flavour of
Scotch and Sam, the combination made his blood burn with desire. They moved
together needing to confirm their emotional needs with physical ones. Sam
gasped when he felt Josh’s hand come up and caress the front of his
trousers. He bucked into the touch and that was all Josh needed to take
control of the kiss. He savoured the moan he felt rumble through Sam as he
continued to rock against Sam’s firm body. Sam’s hands came down tracing the
seam line of his trousers and rubbing at the indentation. The sensation made
Josh whimper and Josh could feel the smile that tugged at Sam’s lips as he
moved forward pushing Sam back onto the dinner table. "Are you ready to
finish what we’ve started?" He whispered, straddling Sam his hands moving to
the shirt that hid Josh’s view of Sam’s chest.
Sam groaned and nodded as he felt Josh give a little thrust against his
crotch. "God. Josh anything…. yes."
"Good." The self-satisfied tone made Sam look up at Josh who was staring at
him with a loving expression. "Because I’m not letting you go."
"You mean that?" Sam asked wondering how on earth everything could’ve turned
around so quickly. Josh leant down, once more capturing Sam’s lips in a
brief soul-searing kiss. "Yeah I mean it."
"Well I’m not letting you go." Sam returned and then all rational thought
was forgotten as the two men began the dance of learning and discovering
each other like never before.

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