Title: Calm as I'm Not
Author: Perpetual Motion
Webpage: www.geocities.com/iwannabedonna
Category: Slash, Drama
Rating: CHILD
Pairing: Sam/Josh
Series: No
Spoilers: Two Cathedrals and WKODHIB and ITSOTG
Summary: "Josh is here beside me, thank God."
Archive Instructions: Of course.
Disclaimer: Not mine. Don’t you people know that by now?
Author's Notes: Little snippet that played in my head. Thought I'd share.

Calm as I'm Not by Perpetual Motion

Josh is here beside me, thank God. I don't think I could sit here and look as calm as I'm not if Josh weren't beside me.

I can't believe Mrs. Landingham in gone. I can't believe she's dead. She's not gone. No one's gone if you remember them, and I know I'll always remember her. I almost had to use that philosophy with Josh. It was almost exactly a year ago that he sat on the steps and held a hand over his chest and had his hand turn red.

I still remember what it felt like to find him, to know that I hadn't been the one to find him, and I should have been because Josh is mine in every way romantic, friendly, and professional. He's it for me. I know that. I've known that since before Virginia, but Virginia just made it a stronger. It made it necessary for me to be next to Josh as often as possible.

Especially in hospitals and at funerals. Because hospitals and funerals are the scariest places for me. They're where I almost lost Josh.

Josh is here beside me, thank God. I don't think I could sit here and look as calm as I'm not if Josh weren't beside me.

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