Title: Baby
Author: Baked Goldfish
Rated: G
Spoilers: Slight spoilers for Night Five
Pairing: Sam/Toby
Archive: Sure
Disclaimers: So not mine.
Summary: Sam calls Toby "baby." Toby does not like this.


Baby by Baked Goldfish


"Yeah, baby?"

Toby looked up and glared at him. "I - the speech, do you - why did you just call me-"

Sam grinned at him, stuffed his hands into his pockets, and leaned against the doorframe. "I've got Ainsley looking over the finer points."

Glaring at him still, Toby waved him into the office. "Get in here for a sec."


"Close the door."

Sam shut it, and stood in front of Toby's desk. "What's up?"

"I don't even let you call me that in bed," Toby stated.

"What's that, honey?"

"What is wrong with-" He rubbed his forehead and sighed, exasperated. "'Baby.' I do not even let you call me that in bed."

"I know," Sam said, a tiny smirk threatening to become a full-fledged grin.

"So why are you-"

"'Cause it bothers you."

Toby dropped his hand to his desk and stared up at Sam. "That's, you know, that's exactly what Leo told me."

The smirk left Sam's face, and was replaced by a look of utter confusion and slight jealousy. "Leo called you 'baby'?"

"What?" It took a moment for Toby to realize he'd changed tracks too abruptly for Sam to follow along. "No," he said, shaking his head. "He called Andi my wife."

"But she's your ex-wife," Sam stated.

"I know."

"Why'd he call her your wife?"

"'Cause it bothers me."

"Everything bothers you," Sam said.

"I know." He picked up his pen and fiddled with it. "Ainsley's working on the thing?"

"Yeah, sweetcheeks."

"What is - ugh . . . you . . . " He shook his head and mumbled, "It's Torture Toby Day, isn't it."

"I've never seen something so small bug you so much before," Sam said gleefully.

"Stop it," he whined.

"That is so adorable. Do it again."

Self-conscious, he mumbled, "No. And stop with the pet names."

Sam leaned forward, his palms braced against Toby's desk. Smugly, he asked, "What're you gonna do? Punish me?"

Toby glared up at Sam's face, just a few inches from his own. Abruptly, he dropped his pen, wrapped his hand around the back of Sam's neck, and pulled him down.

Vaguely, Sam felt his elbow knock against the desk as his arms flailed aimlessly; he didn't really mind, however, as the feeling of Toby's tongue grazing against his lips was pretty much drowning out every other sensation he might have been feeling at that point. Finally, he blindly braced himself against the desk, and tried to deepen the kiss.

At that exact moment, Toby pulled back just as abruptly as he'd begun, cleared his throat, picked up his pen, and got back to work, scribbling furiously on his yellow legal pad.

Sam stared at him, dumbfounded and slightly breathless. "Wait - wait a minute," he gasped, his voice cracking.

"The speech, Sam?"

"Ainsley . . . "

"Why don't you go work on it with her?"


He barely spared Sam a glance. "And yes, I will punish you." As Sam stumbled out of his office, Toby smirked and added, "Baby."


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